Faster, Faster, Don't Stop Now

Toyota Sponsafier Commercial

Some image grabs, because this commercial was so freaking genius. (The first one was awesome, because we got Reut in that outfit saying he loved love. The second one had a trifecta of genius.)

For bubblesbrnaid:

For the record, I didn't see the hand the first several times we saw this on Sunday. Mikey really is dressed as Napoleon!

( Michael Waltrip )

Also, Kyle and Joey. Because the outfits/expressions are priceless.

( Kyle Busch and Joey Logano )

ETA: Reutimann in the comments.

NASCAR Things

1. Brian Vickers: Don't know who all watched the pre-race retrospective last Sunday at Martinsville (you know, the "it's been five years since The Crash" spiel). I was only paying attention to it halfway, because it's always the same things and it was sad, but they didn't mention the five year anniversary of Junior going to Daytona, so chill already, you know? And then, when I realized that Brian was on my screen...he doesn't talk about it. He'll talk about the happy times with Ricky, but he doesn't talk about it. And that little clip, with the LOOK that he gave. I nearly bawled for the boy.

2. AJ Allmendinger: *sigh* Imma kick his ass. Who wants to go with? (DWI, for those who haven't heard.)

3. David Ragan, Michael Waltrip, Kurt Busch, Denny Hamlin: OMG, while I'm not shocked that Denny is the dumbest of the bunch so far on Smarter Than A 5th Grader (he's barely smarter than a first grader), dudes. DUDES. We finally get a measurable sense of a Busch's brains, and he's dumber than Michael Waltrip? (Okay, for the record, Mikey is wicked smart and just hides it well as part of a schtick. But still. This is book learning we're talking about. This is supposed to be Kurt's area.) Tomorrow night is Carl. I have to admit, I'm not thrilled that we've got a whole week of guys and we didn't get Ryan Newman or Brian Vickers. Those two are supposedly the smartest in the garage. I've been dying to see how they stack up against Mikey. Couldn't we have done without Denny?

I slept 13 hours last night. Just got up at 11.

I blame the dirty dream I had. About Michael Waltrip.

(Knowing too much about Mikey and his dirty mind apparently combined with hormones to create that dream. I don't know! I was watching House Hunters before bed! There is no reason!)

At least my brain kept things realistic. And he only got to second base.

ETA: Biffle has the flu. McMurray has the flu. I call shenanigans if Sadler pops up with the flu next.

The Mikey and Chad Hour

You know an episode of This Week In NASCAR is going to be fun when it starts with Mikey referring to his shrink and Chad referring to Mikey as having multiple personalities (but only two).

Also, the swiffer shall be featured. Yay!

And...Mikey's in a mood which means Steve Byrnes suggest hugging it out. Chad is either vaguely horrified or really horrified. (We love horrified Chad.)

Mikey: When I think of Steak-ummm burgers, I think of Mark Martin.
Chad: No you don't. That man has never had a burger in his life.
Me: No, he just looks like one.

Mikey: Next time you have a point like that, could you condense that a little bit? That was painful. There was a whole lot of stuff going on there. My brain's not that refined. (Chad) lost me at "Let me explain something to you."

More Procrastination Techniques

Hey look! Shiny! (This is me procrastinating. I need to make lists. And straighten. I at least got the kitchen straightened. But I need to work on the rest of the apartment so tomorrow I can do the closets and really get into the cleaning.)

Two Reasons Why Inside Nextel Cup Rules


1. Biffle declares he's a virgin. Loudly.


2. Vickers and Waltrip get into a debate over the Car of Tomorrow that goes like this:

WALTRIP: The car of tomorrow isn't any harder to see through than the old car. They're all hard to see through.

VICKERS: I think they're talking about the wing.

WALTRIP: Then just look over it!

VICKERS: Not everyone is 6'5" or 7'5" like you.

WALTRIP: Then get a booster seat!


And that was just me catching the very last minute of the show (for Biffle) and a minute in a commercial break for Chuck. Thank GOD I DVRed it.

***

I've been up since 4:30 (did you know that came twice a day?) and at work since 7. I'm already crashing some.

Current bug bite count: 16

Droughts are evil, cause only 4 of the dang bites are mosquitoes. The rest are fleas. From sitting in my grandmother's back yard. And the little dog that belongs to my upstairs neighbor. And because Chester managed to get a few again less than a week after a major flea bath.

Just found another bite on my arm. That's 17. Joy!

***

Things Of The Good From This Week's Race

Junior finished 5th.

Vickers finished 8th.

Allmendinger not only finished the race, if there'd been a caution there near the end he'd have finished on the lead lap. And he was the second highest finishing Toyota.

Mikey did not end up fried.

Biffle's crew member did not get badly hurt (the one he ran over).

Things Of The Bad From This Week's Race

Really boring races at night just make me want to sleep that much more.

Neighbors who pop in to watch a race aren't nearly as fun as Bubbles because they read too much into the announcers being dirty. As in, me cracking up over a "hot and slick" statement leads to the neighbor thinking I'm hitting on him. *sigh*

Jimmie Johnson won.

Kurt Busch didn't wreck. And only has to finish 36th or higher to clinch a Chase berth. (I think that's considering if Junior wins the race.)

Harvick took a tumble in the standings and feasibly, with much long shot, if Junior were to get into the Chase (by some miracle), it could be Harvick that was knocked out. THIS IS NOT GOOD. I want Kurt out, not Kevin. I don't want to have to sacrifice one of my boys for the other. (Then again, if DEI had given Junior better engines earlier in the year, this wouldn't be an issue.)

This post is all NASCAR, brought to you by Bojangles'.

NASCAR Neurosis

This moment is dedicated to celli and tenel, who will undoubtedly laugh their asses off.

This morning, while getting dressed, I had a moment of horror. I had my hose on and made the move to put on my bra. So, essentially, I'm standing in my bedroom half naked (not nekkid, as nothing untoward was going on). The TV is on to the morning news. Just as I'm going to put on the bra I look up to see Jeff Gordon on my TV screen, grinning and giving me the thumbs up. My first reaction? To shriek and cover my boobs.

So lesson learned - I don't want Gordon seeing me naked. It's skeevy.

The commercial in question is part of this campaign.

The Vickers Complex

Vickers video that makes me giggle like whoa. Also known as, riding a half-pipe in a rolling desk chair. WITH helmet.

Yeah, I may have watched that five times already.

Also, something tells me some of the quotes from the Hendrick camp in here were from Jimmie and Jeffy, not from Kyle.

"Vickers' former teammates quietly suggest he hadn't appeared to change much since joining the team at the behest of team-owner Rick Hendrick's late son, Ricky, in 2003 and that he was content being a kid."

Because a couple of 30-somethings have SO much in common with a 23-year-old. And are at the same point in their lives. Methinks asking Kyle would have been a better option.

Stealing Harvick

From Jayski:

Don't have a ton of details on this, but heard from sources at the track that someone broke into the #29 RCR garage this morning at Atlanta Motor Speedway, taking Kevin Harvick's helmet and was supposedly caught climbing a fence with the helmet on, no word on any other items taken or any damage by the person.

UPDATE: Daytona 500 winner Kevin Harvick's helmet was stolen from the #29 hauler in the Nextel Cup garage Sunday morning. But the caper was quickly foiled by speedway security. "[NASCAR] was notified early this morning that track security had come across and apprehended two individuals in the garage who were in the possession of Kevin Harvick's racing helmet," NASCAR spokesperson Kerry Tharp said. "The police were notified, the individuals were arrested and the helmet was returned safe and sound."

Testing

Kyle Busch and Casey Mears are testing COTs at Caraway Speedway tomorrow. The squeal you heard from me is over 1) drivers that close to where I live (Caraway is just outside Asheboro), 2) COT that close to me (I wanna see one) and 3) the idea of those two in an isolated place, because Casey could hurt Kyle and no one would be the wiser. What? I'm sadistic.

Unfortunate Wording Leads To Slash

Team Red Bull is notorious for the parties it throws in Formula One, and Vegas gave the team a proper venue for its first NASCAR celebration. The first-year NASCAR team rented out the Hugh Hefner Sky Villa at Palms Casino, then put together an exclusive guest list for the seven-hour bash. The doors opened at 9 p.m., and NASCAR president Mike Helton made his brief appearance shortly thereafter. Drivers Greg Biffle and David Gilliland were also among the first on the scene - as well as the last to leave. Johnson and wife, Chandra, arrived with driver Casey Mears, while Kasey Kahne showed up with Elliott Sadler.

So Jimmie and Chandra have a threesome going with Mears and Sadler is Kahne's bitch? The HELL?

Simon Cowell Gets Judged - By Michael Waltrip and Kurt Busch

Oh, and Mario Andretti. But he doesn't count as I'm female, therefore I don't exist.

Simon Cowell Gets Judged video.

The judging starts about 2:41. Mikey goes all out at being extra snarky.

ETA: Newman Surprise

Shocking Newman Video!!!!

He has a neck! Oh, and he surprises a fan at an Alltel store. The fan, being of the NASCAR redneck variety, is awesome and reacts like he's supposed to, with yelling, declarations of "I'm shaking like a leaf", and bowing.

Yeah, I said bowing.

To keep me sane today, NASCAR Picspam. (My sister is largely driving any anger and all requests to borrow bats from coworkers.) I also get to play with technology at some point, which is a major yay. As long as it cooperates.

NASCAR Picspam

Very graphic heavy. And the suckers are large.

( Tony Stewart )

( Elliott Sadler )

( Matt Kenseth )

( Boris Said )

( Greg Biffle )

( Ken Schrader )

( Jimmie Johnson )

( Jimmie Johnson/Brian Vickers )

( Bootie Barker )

( Bobby Labonte )

( Kurt Busch )

( JJ Yeley )

( Kasey Kahne )

( Jamie McMurray )

( Casey Mears )

( Brian Vickers )

( Multiple Drivers )

( Luke Perry )