Faster, Faster, Don't Stop Now

Did I mention that for my birthday my parents gave me a laptop?

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Things of the Good:

1. Bossman who knows sports injuries (don't worry, mine isn't a sport injury, it's a "played with the dog and then had an accident involving the parking deck and a shoe" injury) informed me that my ankle/foot aren't swollen, so no need to go to a doctor.

2. 3/4 of my spring cleaning is DONE. And of the remaining, rearranging furniture is on the list. Fun!

3. Several work projects are in the process and I've made good headway.

4. My license is good for 8 years. So theoretically, if I don't move, my picture at age 38 will be of me at 30.

5. My hair is still occasionally just as awesome as the day I got it cut. And bonus, I made comparisons to Jaclyn Smith's hair...and she gets to host a show about awesome hair on Bravo!

Things of the Bad:

1. My foot/leg still hurt occasionally. I hate being forced to sit still and prop my leg up.

2. 1/4 of my spring cleaning left to do includes cleaning out the fridge and the microwave. Not fun.

3. Good headway on projects is not fun for my allergies when it includes lots of recycling of old files.

4. I need to be writing as it's fic that I wanted done TODAY (for celli), but the muse is being really, really stubborn. I have the story worked out well in my head and it's not going down on paper right.

5. When I went to get my license renewed, I discovered during the eye test that my eyesight REALLY SUCKS. My astigmatism has gotten worse, as has the vision in my left eye.

6. The weather in NC is being a pain, which means that some of the time my hair is a royal pain in the butt. I've yet to figure out how to style it on days when the humidity wants to make me look fuzzy.

Truly scary, or truly inspiring?

Sitting in front of me is a "press release". I call it that tentatively, mainly because, in my seven years in public relations, I've never seen a press release that includes lyrics from Sister Sledge.

Some poor woman, who undoubtedly believes her writing is iconic and inspiring, has written a manifesto for distribution to the local news media regarding issues facing probationary teachers. Unfortunately, the manifesto has a nautical theme.

Probationary teachers, sailing and Sister Sledge. And she honestly thinks she'll be taken seriously.

(If you're scratching your head and highly confused, don't worry. I've read the manifesto and have yet to make sense of it. Just know that the teachers are looking for treasures at sea, and we are family. That pretty much sums it up.)

Oh! And it includes quotes from Grand Funk Railroad (per a coworker).

1. Peter Boyle died. *is sad* I will miss you Clyde Bruckman.

2. Jeff Gordon is breeding. (We will now slay the plot bunny that just tried to convince me to write Supernatural fic with a half demon child in which it's revealed to be Jeff Gordon's offspring.)

3. My aunt in Connecticut slashes Tony Stewart and Denny Hamlin. Without knowing what slash is. She just has thought for years that Tony's gay (I really am trying to figure out why "single man" equals "gay") and decided that Denny was his "special friend". *headdesk* Honestly? Never saw that one coming. Badum ching.

4. A coworker sent in his lunch request for next week and asked for "Buttermilk Rack" dressing. My immediate question? "What woman was sitting across from you when you were writing this email? Was it R? Because yes, pregnant boobs do make the mind stray."

5. Ward Burton has been officially signed by Morgan McClure. Yay!!!!! And they're taking orders for merchandise before they even have any. *snerk*

A question to the Californians on my f-list: do your earthquakes tend to go "boom"?

Also, to the North Carolinians that are freaking over it, come on! LOL An earthquake that measures 2.6 on the Richter scale? We're not that wussy. Hurricanes are scarier than an earthquake like that.

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Note to self: Going home will be SERIOUSLY screwy today. If my calculations are right, the President will be coming back to Greensboro from Randleman around 5. *whimper* Dear Mr. President - way to fuck up my commute home. Couldn't you have gone to see Kyle Petty sooner? Kyle's cool and all, and we adore him muchly, so thanks for going to the camp and checking things out, but still.

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Need to ditch all my Jimmie Johnson icons. I don't like him anymore.

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Due to the creation (by rearranging of furniture and bringing in my ferns) of a reading nook, I spent way too much time last night curled up reading a book. Like, didn't go to bed when I should have, insisted on finishing the book. Which means I went to bed at 2 am and got four hours of sleep. So yes, I'm on Coke number two.

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Go to zeplum's journal and share your favorite YouTubiness! YouTube clips! Tis fun!

Just call me Lindsay

You know, next time anyone in my family or at work does the "you're too white" spiel, I'm going off, because white is white. I am what I am. My legs glow.

And you know, dying my hair red SHOULD take care of this.

But it doesn't, so I caved for a wedding (since hose are just...ugh) and did the fake tan on the legs. Let it be known - my legs are now bright white with a vague orange glow. Yay! Just what I wanted! To be ORANGE.

Why no one will accept that self tanner and white skin = orange is beyond me.

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NASCAR

Am taping the SPEED Pool Party, as the potential for some driver to be shirtless is great. Well, it's a foot deep pool, but still. If one of them goes shirtless, I don't care WHO it is (aside from Kenseth, but he hasn't RSVP'd), there's potential for mockage or drooling.

Also, McMurray's dog looks like him. Jeez! (And acts like him. Hi spastic puppy!)

And more, Sadler has GOT to grow the back of his hair out some. They keep trying to style it for Trackside, and while I've come to terms with the weird anchor hair they get going on top, the back is now too short for them to effectively style, so it just looks weird.

Tony, it would be funnier if you were telling the reporters to go away so you could talk to Greg. Just sayin.

Kyle Petty running over Jimmie Johnson was funny. As was the crew member pushing the car and laughing.

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Had pizza for breakfast, am drinking water now, have a Coke and an Almond Snickers for later...and dang it, too many postcards to label and get done by the end of the day so that I can go to a wedding 2 hours away.

Thing #1: Why do I have a zit the size of New Hampshire at the edge of my lip? It's not fair!

Thing #2: Dean needs to clean guns every single day. Guh.

Thing #3: Lots of Bud Shootout practice starting Friday. Anyone want to start the "way too much watching of NASCAR TV" at my house? It's on SPEED, which I have.

Thing #4: My new Kevin Harvick screensaver is amusing.

Thing #5: I bought books yesterday: Asian cookbook, how it feels to die in extreme situations (or at least how it feels to be maimed in extreme situations), the first NASCAR Harlequinn romance, a book of NASCAR stories, and a book called The Baby Name Wizard which talks about the process of choosing names, not just giving a list of names. (That last one was for my sister. It's a cool book.)

Thing #6: American Idol really ticked me off last night. SuperPrettyGirl would not have gotten through if she wasn't pretty. Simon was dead on about that (hey, while he's superficial, at least it goes both ways, and he said no to her!). I just can't believe that Paula voted her through. On the flip side, I love little Irish Boy (so dubbed because every guy with a voice has sung Josh Groban - at least this boy seemed slightly Irish with the lilting quality for me, so he's Irish Boy). Who knows how he'll do, but he's darling.

TV in the bedroom halves sex life

The important question here is whether that's really bad for me. Because what's half of hardly any at all?

Dear uterus,

I know. I know. It's an afront to your dignity every frickin' month what you have to go through. But is it necessary to cause this much pain? Seriously. Cramping is NOT fun when there's no reward of a small child being pushed out. 'Kay? So stop already! (Especially since I gave you four ibuprofen to put you in an appropriately happy drug haze.)

Due to overwhelming demand (meaning, since ultimatemother and mrbig1316 asked, nay, demanded *g*)...

( Here's what I'm wearing today that prompted the client to compliment me. )

Dear Southern Drivers,

Okay, it's that time of year again. The time of year when the words "snow" and "ice" panic you all so much that you run to the grocery stores and clear out the milk and bread and then speed merrily home or to work or grandma's or the mall. And every year you wreck and seem surprised because OMG THE ROAD WAS SLICK!!!711!

Dudes. Bridges ice over before roads. Wanna know how I know? BECAUSE THE ROAD SIGNS SAY IT! They don't have the damn things up for no reason!

Also? Giant fog banks mean brake before you get to them, when people can see you. Don't brake in the middle of them. Yes, giant fog banks are frightening when they pop up like that. But it was a giant fog bank! You could see it for a mile!

(This rant brought to you by southern drivers, ice, fog, and the 11 car pile up on Hwy 220 North that slowed down my morning commute.)