Everything you ever wanted to know about PMS

[maveness]

A bit of war commentary here.

So, for everyone who knows nothing about PMS, or for those lucky bastards who get off with very mild PMS, let me just give you the low-down on the nastiness that is PMS.

1. Water retention
2. Bloating
3. Cramps
4. Moodiness
5. Bitchiness (not to be confused with Moodiness, which is the changing of moods, Bitchiness is one mood and a scary one at that)
6. Extreme hunger
7. No hunger at all
8. Tenderness
9. Sensitivity to (but not limited to): light, sound, criticism, touch, wind, rabbits, food, harsh fabrics, smells, men, children, Hallmark commercials, movies with animals that die, movies with anyone that dies, Reader's Digest, band aids, and family members
10. Lethargy
11. Insomnia
12. Various aches and pains in the back, stomach, lower abdomen region
13. A desperate hatred of all those who can claim the honor of not having a period

Comments

[h2ogirl.livejournal.com]

Lemme add to that list ...

14. Feeling faint .. turning as white as a sheet.

Yep ... I share all the pain that you mentioned hun.
*hugs*
And to think some doctors STILL think it's all in our heads. Needless to say, these are male doctors. Women doctors know better.

*huggles*

[maveness.livejournal.com]

Hmmm. I've never had the feeling faint one. *That* has to be a royal pain in the ass. I'm very, very glad I don't get the feeling faint symptom.

[paperbkryter.livejournal.com]

I'll add one:

Brief but violent rages in which you want to stab twenty something waitresses who repeatedly call you "sweetie" with a fork.

[lexcorp-hope.livejournal.com]

Isn't that covered under bitchiness?

Don't stab me! Don't stab me!

Re:

[paperbkryter.livejournal.com]

Hmm. I don't know. I think there is a fine line between bitchiness and homicidal.

[maveness.livejournal.com]

Or 50-something waitresses at Waffle House who call you "honey" - and no one else.

Re:

[paperbkryter.livejournal.com]

You too? LOL

[maveness.livejournal.com]

Oh, she did it when I was 14. I actually hate Waffle Houses because of that woman.

Re:

[paperbkryter.livejournal.com]

LOL

[sullivanlane.livejournal.com]

You might want to add horniness to that there list ... I mean, even the ugly people start to look good.

[maveness.livejournal.com]

Ah, the horniness. How could I have forgotten the horniness? The horniness that makes you want to jump every male in sight, then manages to disappear just before a hookup with a hot cowboy.

Ahem.

Re:

[sullivanlane.livejournal.com]

*snort* Yeah, that's the horniness of which I speak.

[queenofalostart.livejournal.com]

I think No. 8 needs to be expanded to simply say: Extremely aware of the fact that you have breasts, and they're pretty pissed off that they aren't nursing a baby.

ARGH!

[maveness.livejournal.com]

Yes, that *is* exactly what the breasts do. Extremely pissy breasts that ache just by their existence.