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Picspam #2 - The Chaser Edition
The Chase Is On: The Top 12 In Pictures
Ah look, it's the entire freaking lot of them. They look like such polite, sweet, nice bo...
...ys.
Who am I kidding? They're overgrown monkeys.
Meet The Chasers
This is Jimmie. Jimmie often has really scary eyebrows. Note their bushiness.
That bushiness is why Jimmie runs really, really quickly when there's fire. His eyebrows are really flammable.
This is Jeff.
Jeff is married to a (really hot) former model.
We're pretty sure that's why Jeff poses like he's competing to be America's Next Top Model.
See, he's got a runway walk and everything!
Granted, he's a wee bit short, but he rocks the spokesperson part.
This isn't Tony. This is Zippy, Tony's crew chief. But we don't do Tony posts without Zippy, because Zippy is just too awesome to be overlooked.
This is Tony. You can tell him from Zippy by the evil grin and large amount of hair. I know this will shock everyone, but really, he shaved 20 minutes before this picture was taken.
Really.
We swear.
Contrary to popular opinion, he is not 40. He's actually 28. I swear.
This is Clint and his girlfriend, Athena. Athena rocks. And manages to make him look like he's robbing the cradle.
Please do not adjust your computer. That is not a naked mole rat with pubic hair taped to it's chin. That is, in fact, Kyle Busch.
He's human. No, really.
This is Truex. He's really quiet. And that's about as much personality as you'll get out of him.
This is Matt. He is evil. EVIL I tell you! See that grin? Pure evil, right there. (We worship the evil.)
Despite what the pictures may indicate, Carl is neither The Joker...
Nor a Marine.
He is...Flipper!
Let me introduce you to Denny Hamlin. He seems all sweet and innocent and boyish at times, but don't be fooled...
He's all boy at heart. (Yes, he's playing baseball with a champagne bottle and a beer can, why do you ask?)
This is Kevin. His nickname is Happy. Most pictures, though, fail to properly demonstrate why he is Happy. They make him appear to be...
Contemplative
or Bored
This is Jeffy Buhton. He is awesome.
Nuff said.
This is Kurt, brother to the naked mole rat above. Kurt used to have Dumbo ears, before the plastic surgery. Next to him is his wife, Eva. Eva used to have normal boobs, before the plastic surgery. This picture does not do her (fake) rack justice, as it enters the garage area a good 5 minutes before she does. However, it does demonstrate that Eva believes she can wear shirts that other NASCAR wives (who are models and still look pretty anorexic) can wear. Unfortunately, Eva just manages to look like an overstuffed turkey in this getup.
Word of advice, Eva. When you have curves? Ruffles are not your friend.
Another thing that Kurt has that's unfortunate (besides his wife) - that hairline. Plugs? A really bad haircut to disguise male pattern baldness? You decide.
The Chase Is On: The Top 12 In Pictures
Ah look, it's the entire freaking lot of them. They look like such polite, sweet, nice bo...
...ys.
Who am I kidding? They're overgrown monkeys.
Meet The Chasers
This is Jimmie. Jimmie often has really scary eyebrows. Note their bushiness.
That bushiness is why Jimmie runs really, really quickly when there's fire. His eyebrows are really flammable.
This is Jeff.
Jeff is married to a (really hot) former model.
We're pretty sure that's why Jeff poses like he's competing to be America's Next Top Model.
See, he's got a runway walk and everything!
Granted, he's a wee bit short, but he rocks the spokesperson part.
This isn't Tony. This is Zippy, Tony's crew chief. But we don't do Tony posts without Zippy, because Zippy is just too awesome to be overlooked.
This is Tony. You can tell him from Zippy by the evil grin and large amount of hair. I know this will shock everyone, but really, he shaved 20 minutes before this picture was taken.
Really.
We swear.
Contrary to popular opinion, he is not 40. He's actually 28. I swear.
This is Clint and his girlfriend, Athena. Athena rocks. And manages to make him look like he's robbing the cradle.
Please do not adjust your computer. That is not a naked mole rat with pubic hair taped to it's chin. That is, in fact, Kyle Busch.
He's human. No, really.
This is Truex. He's really quiet. And that's about as much personality as you'll get out of him.
This is Matt. He is evil. EVIL I tell you! See that grin? Pure evil, right there. (We worship the evil.)
Despite what the pictures may indicate, Carl is neither The Joker...
Nor a Marine.
He is...Flipper!
Let me introduce you to Denny Hamlin. He seems all sweet and innocent and boyish at times, but don't be fooled...
He's all boy at heart. (Yes, he's playing baseball with a champagne bottle and a beer can, why do you ask?)
This is Kevin. His nickname is Happy. Most pictures, though, fail to properly demonstrate why he is Happy. They make him appear to be...
Contemplative
or Bored
This is Jeffy Buhton. He is awesome.
Nuff said.
This is Kurt, brother to the naked mole rat above. Kurt used to have Dumbo ears, before the plastic surgery. Next to him is his wife, Eva. Eva used to have normal boobs, before the plastic surgery. This picture does not do her (fake) rack justice, as it enters the garage area a good 5 minutes before she does. However, it does demonstrate that Eva believes she can wear shirts that other NASCAR wives (who are models and still look pretty anorexic) can wear. Unfortunately, Eva just manages to look like an overstuffed turkey in this getup.
Word of advice, Eva. When you have curves? Ruffles are not your friend.
Another thing that Kurt has that's unfortunate (besides his wife) - that hairline. Plugs? A really bad haircut to disguise male pattern baldness? You decide.
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I caught a glimpse of Teh Eva last week and she seemed somehow "deflated". Suppose she had them removed now that she has the ring through his nose, I mean on his finger?
Denny's growing on me and I don't mean like a fungus...he's just so gosh-darn cute sometimes.
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I wonder if Eva has some bras that are bad - push-up bras that make the girls look like two torpedoes instead of breasts. Maybe they were to make her wedding dress look good. *g*
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That's it! Junior is boring to listen to most of the time; too busy sounding like a "good ol' boy". Perhaps the change to HMS will give him the freedom to express himself (and his intelligence) to a better degree.
Hehee. I have one of those bras from Victoria... Call it my "weapons of mass destruction bra". I scare myself when I wear it. ;)
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