(no subject)

I honestly don't know how to put this into words without being long, incoherent, rambly, and bitchy.

Family medical drama: Uncle Howard was rushed by critical care ambulance (full lights and sirens) to an ICU at a hospital a county away because he has double pneumonia (aspiration). 60% chance of survival according to the ER doctors who saw him first, partially because at age 47 he's way overweight, has rheumatoid arthritis, had stomach flu and bronchitis, is on several immuno-suppressant medications, and has lord knows how many other health concerns.

1. Aunt has no ability to prioritize or think clearly in a crisis. Okay, many people can't. Hence me and my mom (not my grandmother, who is no help in a crisis either) making lists for my aunt and telling her what to do. (Things like "when you run by your house, put these things in an overnight bag, just in case" or "call your husband's brother en route to the other hospital to update him on what's going on".) We focused on little things that she would need to do, letting her know anything else, we could do for her, we were volunteering, don't worry about us being "put out". My aunt did NOTHING that we told her to do, instead concentrating on washing her hair and taking the dogs out to walk. Washing her hair took precendence over calling her husband's family. My mother had to call them this morning! I had to call them yesterday! (Incidentally, because this is partially his family's fault, when I heard my mom say "Howard's in the ER", I didn't ask, I just went. I told his brother "Howard is in the ER at Randolph. He has pneumonia in both lungs. It's bad. They're sending him to Forsyth Hospital for critical care. He'll be in the ICU there." I thought his brother understood. Apparently they didn't get that it's bad.)

2. My sister is apparently on another crazy emotional rollercoaster where the only people not allowed to have foibles or flaws are my mom and me (again). My sister's the first person that would rush to my side if I were in the hospital (and considering my mother's mothering, my grandmother's worrying and all of my awesome friends, it says a lot that Katie would beat everyone). She doesn't question what has to be done. But lord, she just wants to jump in and help and if mom or I complain because Sandra isn't behaving normally (like every other person in this situation would behave, or at least most people who have family they know they can rely on), Katie jumps all over us because Sandra is just reacting to a crisis badly. And when I say "jumps all over us", I mean you can hear the beginnings of a rift if we follow the line of talking. In all probability, my aunt wouldn't call anyone until my uncle is dead with the way she's operating right now. Heck, she's so concentrated on the wrong things that if he does die from this, I'm not sure she'll be there! And my sister thinks this is normal!

3. My aunt will call my mom first thing to fix things, but she won't do what my mom tells her to do, instead calling her friends and getting them involved. gvbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbf9i (Sorry, that was Dale's input.) My aunt calls me to fix something and then won't listen to what I tell her to do. And it's all things she has to initiate, so we can't do them for her. For example, she called me and was telling me all about how she's already contacted Howard's work since he'll be out for at least 2 more weeks about things to do with short term disability. But he took vacation last week instead of sick time because he didn't want to go to a doctor. So she doesn't know what to do to fix that, etc. My sister works in a law office that handles worker's comp and disability claims. But my aunt hemmed and hawed around the idea of letting my sister help her with it! *headdesk*

I'm ending this now because quite frankly, I went on longer than I meant to anyway.