Pardon the sobbing

Hell's Kitchen

I love when reality TV actually finally delivers on something more dramatic than the domestic disturbance going on next door. (Just let me say - at least they've been kicked out now. I so wasn't dealing well with their screaming last night. Or the random banging.)

( The third to last cut is the deepest )

Debates

CNN YouTube Debates

After watching the debates online (where I can fast forward through rhetoric if it starts piling too deeply), I have two things to say:


1. I love America and Americans. The questions were well thought out and provoking in all the right ways.

2. Politicians get on my last nerve. My problem with politics are the politicians. Would somebody please have a genuine moment and not be so scripted? Heck, I vote for constant genuineness.


That said, watching the "debating" (also known as, let's all agree with one another and the person posing the question, even if they didn't give an opinion) reminded me of why I inherently am drawn to Barack Obama and why I'm so sorely disappointed in John Edwards, even though this is his second time running for president.

Obama: He's less scripted than the others. Way less scripted than Hilary Clinton. And when someone isn't scripted, there's an air of sincerity that gives you the feeling that you aren't going to wonder if they're lying through their teeth or just spewing platitudes.

Edwards: I liked things he had to say. Which is what pisses me off. He abandoned our state when we needed him to run for president, even though it was quite clear that the timing wasn't right for him. I know people in other states may feel the same way about their own senators - I truly understand. It sucks when you lose a senior senator who had some sway in Washington (whether good or bad, we had Jesse Helms) and the other person who has garnered some pull (Edwards) up and leaves you with someone who's completely new to the game (Elizabeth Dole), no matter how well she's received in Washington. Our state was suffering economically, but he had other things on his mind. We elected him to a job that he failed to fulfill.

Giraffes? Giraffes!

Giraffes? Giraffes!

Dr. & Mr. Doris Haggis-on-Whey

For many years the scientific and educational community has wondered and worried about the possibility that semi-sane scholar pretenders would find the means to put out a series of reference books aimed at children but filled with ludicrous misinformation. These books would be distributed through respectable channels and would inevitably find their way into the hands and households of well-meaning families, who would go to them for facts but instead find bizarre untruths. The books would look normal enough, but would read as if written by people who have eaten too many lead-based paint chips.

Well, sadly, that day is upon us. We offer to you the first in a proposed series of 377 reference books, all written by a couple, Dr. and Mr. Doris Haggis-on-Whey, married fifty years and now getting their chance to twist and tickle the brains of the impressionable.

Giraffes? Giraffes! is the first in the series, and puts forth the following novel theories: that giraffes were not part of any evolutionary chain, but came here from Neptune, by way of very long (but convenient and fast) escalators; that giraffes are expert dancers, but they become angry if you ask them about their dancing; that giraffes control over 90 pecent of what we see in mirrors; that the Giraffe navy is as strong as ever, contrary to recent claims in the popular press.

This is a book to be feared. If you have young people in your life, keep it far away from them.

Giraffes? Giraffes! is a 9" x 12" hardcover reference book, with sixty-four lavishly illustrated pages, and includes a set of giraffe trading cards carefully attached to the inside back cover. Cover is blue faux-leather, debossed with gold-foil detail and a special four-color illustration.

Doctor-approved for all age groups.

There is a section on conveyor belts. Hee!