Santa, the Grinch and a Harley

Weird, random weekend, so weird random thoughts this morning.

1. Cute Christmas moment of the weekend goes to the big Harley-Davidson charity ride. Nothing gets grown-ups grinning like seeing Santa and a giant Grinch snuggling on a Harley.

2. Breakfast was a delish Cherry-Almond scone with icing. Nummy.

3. Dumb newscasters. I'm pretty sure the guy was probably beating his head on the news desk when the newscast was over. With just 30 seconds to go, the meteorologist gives a last minute update of upcoming weather, and says "Precipitation coming, but just the liquid stuff." To which the newscaster responds, in his deep, gravelly, I'm-educated-and-important voice "Let's just this isn't the liquid stuff that's frozen."

Um, who wants to tell him that liquid stuff that's frozen is called a solid. *g*

4. The Dance of the Finances. I've yet to buy any Christmas presents, and good thing too (cause folks are getting less and less as my sister plans her wedding). Sister wants to move the wedding up to May. Which means buying a dress much earlier than I'd anticipated, and throwing a shower or two much earlier than I'd anticipated. Plus money for Houston. Taxes in April. And with classes for the spring semester, I have to buy books, which are as expensive as the classes (and something tells me my grandmother is about to get fudgey about paying for the classes, based on something she said last night). This weekend job is becoming a godsend.

5. Firefly on Friday night made me very happy. Giggly, adolescent happy. I finally fell completely in love with Simon. I like snarky Simon. And god, River. "No power in the 'verse can stop me." Hee. Cocky gunslinger River. Love it. And Jayne. With the constant need to go off and take care of himself. And then with the guns. Can I say how much I love Jayne? Seriously, the guy cracks me up. And Zoe and Wash were fantastic too. Now if they'd only do some really interesting things with Kaylee and Mal. They've sort of left them without the fun. Although the way Kaylee was eyeing Inara...maybe that's the problem. They've got Kaylee and Mal both hot over Inara, and since she's not been terribly interesting, they've been shafted too.

Ooohh. Lunch time. Can you tell my hormones are in overdrive? *g* Gonna have to buy a tae bo tape to battle the pooch this winter.

Eep!

Sudden realization that I have absolutely no clue what to do with myself for about 3-4 weeks. I've gotten used to being busy, to having work during the day, school at night 3 days a week, work on Saturday and church on Sunday. So with winter break until next semester's classes...what do I do?

Eep!

Of course, I could clean my apartment, or buy Christmas presents, but who wants to do that? *g* Okay, I want to buy the presents at least. But still. Here I am panicking, and I haven't even gotten through my finals yet.

It's a sad, sad day when the thought of downtime panics you. Or maybe it's the thought of sitting at home with bad Christmas specials and boring reruns.

101 Ways...

101 Ways...

To kidnap a bald billionaire.

1. Put rohypnol is his Ty Nant bottle. Do what you will with his body while he's out cold.
2. Clock him with a decanter full of scotch. Do what you will with his body while he's out cold.
3. Tell him you have an octagonal shaped hole you need plugged and to come on over. When he gets there, clock with a handy blunt object. Do with his body what you will.
4. Clock him, tie him up, and throw him in the trunk of his Ferarri (this one especially for Valentine Michel).
5. Mesmerize him with your dazzling smile, and while he's preoccupied, clock him.

(Noticing a trend with the knocking out?)

6. Mesmerize him with your ample cleavage, and while he's preoccupied, clock him.
7. Mesmerize him with your flippy hair, and while he's preoccupied, clock him.
8. Pull a gun on him and yell in a deranged manner. (It's a classic that works.)
9. Use that funky breath to take over his mind, then lead him where you will.
10. A nice forehead "be healed!" smack suffices if you have the correct amount of strength.
11. Hide in the back seat of his car until he gets in - alone - and then grab him from behind. Plan is contingent on the patience to wait until he drives that particular car and the ability to be a backseat driver if need be.
12. Challenge him to a duel, whereby the winner gets to kidnap the loser. Only works if you are a champion at fencing.
13. Pretend you're blind, then when he's looking the other way, clock him with your cane. Do with his body what you will.
13. Morph into a person he trusts, then when his back is turned, clock him. Only works if you have the ability to morph.
14. Challenge him to a friendly game of pool, and while he's lining up a shot, clock him with a pool cue. Be careful of leaving blue chalk lines on his head - we musn't mess up the head.
15. Drug his cappuccino - if you aren't too perfect and princesslike to mess up your manicure - and stash him in a vacant, unknown room in an old movie theater.
16. Install a remote control device on his favorite car, then when he's driving, take control and steer him where you want him to go.
17. While he's driving, call him on his cell and tell him if he goes under 50 miles an hour his car will blow up. Works best if he's not driving a bus and if he has no passengers with special skills - like being able to see through the car which would lead them to realize that there is actually no bomb on the car.
18. Go the Nancy Drew route - chloroform on a hankerchief.
19. After a board meeting, when you get him alone, clock him and drag him down to the wine cellar. A big house with lax security is great for hiding in.
20. Call him and offer him a deal on a classic Porsche. While he's examining under the hood, clock him. Works best if you have a classic Porsche.

Okay, folks, that's 20. Who wants to help out with finding 81 more? Come on, you know you wanna...

(This weird notion of kidnapping a billionaire courtesy of valentinemichel. After all, I'm not responsible for where my mind goes when someone mentions room for a body in the trunk of a Ferarri.)