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Reading
I've started Steve Harvey's Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man and by page two I made a stunning discovery - I really am a total guy in many ways.
Steve's talking about how a lot of guys define themselves by what they do. Their personal sense of self-worth is tied up in whether they're "successful" (and by successful I mean, they've found a purpose in life and are working toward being the provider/already are the provider). Of course, reading it, I can see where different cultural norms come into play - if a guy is raised in a household where both parents work, and both parents provide, and he becomes involved with a woman that works, there's a different sense of "provider". But it all ties into "taking care of mine".
I'm reading some of the things Steve's written and thinking "that's me". I was raised to be very self-sufficient, to the point where I realized that I'm kind of intimidating at times in all that I can do for myself. (Honestly, the only thing I'm lacking is basic car maintenance. Because my dad never got around to teaching me to change my own oil. But I can do so much myself that sometimes you'd wonder if I need another person.) But even more, I look at how I define myself and it does come down to career and success in that career. And until I've found what I am going to do with my life as a career (beyond just getting a job), I'm mentally blocked from allowing in someone else on a romantic front. Because I feel like I have to be able to pull my own weight. It's not me thinking I need to provide for both, but me thinking I need to provide for me and be happy with who I am in order to be happy with someone else.
I'm kind of reeling right now from all this.
I've started Steve Harvey's Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man and by page two I made a stunning discovery - I really am a total guy in many ways.
Steve's talking about how a lot of guys define themselves by what they do. Their personal sense of self-worth is tied up in whether they're "successful" (and by successful I mean, they've found a purpose in life and are working toward being the provider/already are the provider). Of course, reading it, I can see where different cultural norms come into play - if a guy is raised in a household where both parents work, and both parents provide, and he becomes involved with a woman that works, there's a different sense of "provider". But it all ties into "taking care of mine".
I'm reading some of the things Steve's written and thinking "that's me". I was raised to be very self-sufficient, to the point where I realized that I'm kind of intimidating at times in all that I can do for myself. (Honestly, the only thing I'm lacking is basic car maintenance. Because my dad never got around to teaching me to change my own oil. But I can do so much myself that sometimes you'd wonder if I need another person.) But even more, I look at how I define myself and it does come down to career and success in that career. And until I've found what I am going to do with my life as a career (beyond just getting a job), I'm mentally blocked from allowing in someone else on a romantic front. Because I feel like I have to be able to pull my own weight. It's not me thinking I need to provide for both, but me thinking I need to provide for me and be happy with who I am in order to be happy with someone else.
I'm kind of reeling right now from all this.
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