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America's Got Talent

NBC
9 pm (ET)

Hosted by Regis Philbin
Judges: David Hasselhoff, Brandy, Piers Morgan

The premise: People of all ages compete with all types of talents to win a $1,000,000 prize at the end of the series. Basically, it's The Gong Show meets American Idol.

Watch a preview clip here.

Already I can see a few flaws. Regis is too smarmy (without quite the subtle good humor of Ryan Seacrest). The Hoff in the role of "That guy from the 80s", aka the all new Randy Jackson, is trying too hard, but not in a good way (no "dawg"s, no "yo yo yo"s, no name dropping other than KITT). Brandy in the role of "That chick who sings, or did several years ago" is too competent and lucid. Piers Morgan in the role of "British guy who's going to shock us" already seems too engaged and like he actually *cares*. All wrong!

But then I realized, I'm looking at this all wrong. My hope is that The Hoff goes the route of Paula with the looney (the scary dancing in the clip is already some proof this can happen), Brandy goes the Simon route of being harsh, and the British dude goes the route of Randy and says things that are pretty much impossible to understand but full of passion. (There's no hope for Regis.)

(Sadly, I'm already a bit disappointed that two of the four acts highlighted I've seen before. And the girl with the big voice? She's no Charlotte Church or Tiffani - the little girl that won huge on Star Search - so why should I care that her voice is okay? On the weird side, I loved the "Do you know the way to San Jose?" family.)

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Pixar: Cars and the origins of Mater

Did you know Mater is a real guy? Yes, the character is based off of a NASCAR fan cliche (admittedly a guy that really exists). But upon reading the interview with the real life Mater (whose nickname is, in fact, Mater), I think a few people missed some things about Mater. He ain't no fool. I thought maybe at first he was a bit dim, but there are two quotes in particular that just seal the deal - the country bumpkin got one over on the Hollywood producer.

"They paid me for my name, and for me to come out there and record my parts and stuff. They really looked after Mater. Paid for my mo-tel. They really bent over backwards. I hope they don't go in the hole on this thing. I'll feel guilty."

Right there during that fateful story-conference meeting, Lasseter says, he called Keever on his cell phone in the middle of a construction job. Was it okay if Pixar hijacked his handle? Dadgum, sure thing, Keever said. He was so excited he didn't care that Lasseter had interrupted him in the middle of prepping a huge batch of concrete. "I just don't see how they can be so creative," Keever says of the Pixar folks. "I suppose that's why they're in the position they're in, and why I'm in the position I'm in."

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Family

ETA: Oh yeah, the part where my parents are going to Ireland for two weeks. I should put that first.

So, I had a talk with my mother last night. She called asking to borrow a backpack style purse. I quickly talked her around to using her fanny pack. As I informed her, foreign country, obvious tourist - you don't want to make it that much easier to have your purse stolen. Despite her pale skin there's no way on earth she'd be mistaken for Irish. Of course I also had to get her to wear the fanny pack on the *front* of her body, so you could tell how this went down ("Wear the fanny pack. It's safer." "But they can still pickpocket. In fact, wouldn't that make it easier?" "Where the heck do you wear the thing?" "On my butt." "Well that's a big problem - wear it on the front." "Oh! And it WOULD be easier than a purse!")

And because I am apparently the anal one (hey, they're going to be overseas for two weeks - you'd be a mama too), I'm going to make them give me every hotel phone number, detailed itinerary, and they have to have the phone number and address for the US Embassy in Dublin. (Why yes, I am that anal.)

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America's Got Talent

One last reminder - America's Got Talent! Tonight! 9 PM on NBC!!!

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NASCAR

1. I am quite happy to say that Jamie McMurray apparently has no musical talent and doesn't make any attempts at music. Dear Jamie, on behalf of my ears, I say thank you.

2. Power Rankings: Question: "What do you see in Kasey Kahne on these big tracks?" Carl Edwards: "I saw his rear bumper really, really well." Also, Report: Mears, Johnson, Gordon planning to form all-California alliance against Kyle Busch. And also, Ellyut: Get a haircut, man! Muzzle-loading season is six months away!

3. Vickers would have loved to race Tim Richmond.

4. Vickers in commercials. Awwww. He's so young! And "Hi, I'm Brian Roast Beef."

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Superman Returns

Upon seeing a Lois-centric Superman Returns commercial, I can quite easily say...Kate Bosworth is NOT Lois Lane, nor anywhere near Lois Lane, nor in the ballpark of anyone who has ever been cast as Lois Lane. I honestly think, based off that commercial, that even Kristen Kreuk could possibly do a better job (possibly, because I don't think she'd try to emulate Katherine freakin Hepburn).

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This is why I'm not allowed to talk to reps or be in the media department.

I just got an email asking about how two spots they'd received should be split as far as time on the air - should they be rotated 50/50?

The first irritating part was trying to figure out how they got my email on something for media, since I don't cover for the media department (how the hell would I know when I didn't place the spot, you know?).

Figured that out.

Really, though, when I then had to email the guy and respond that the instructions he received said "rotate equally", that was probably a good indicator that he, like every other media rep, just didn't bother to read the instructions. (Spot number one is listed. Spot number two is listed. Then in bold type it says "Rotate each spot equally" and yet nobody ever sees it and we have to tell them and they get all sheepish and feel like fools. *sigh*)

Just for that, I get to use this icon. Also, I have PMS.