(no subject)

Dear construction worker on the first floor:

This is not American Idol. It is not necessary to sing incessantly at the top of your lungs, so much so that I can hear it on the second floor (clearly, every word). Really. You don't have to sing to us.

Plus, if you insist on singing, I will insist on leaning out the window, faking a British accent, and telling you exactly what I think of your singing, enough so that Simon Cowell would blush.

(Oh great. Now he's apparently moved on from singing the words "we're gonna make it after all" to something by Aerosmith. Although I did just hear a request by a coworker for "Lean On Me". They all must DIE.)

***

Speaking of American Idol, I love me some Paris. Little girls that sing Billie Holliday RULE. (Now I need a picture of her cute little self.)

(no subject)

American Idol

I'm being forced to go through all the Greensboro Audition pictures at the Idol website, looking for my cousin. I would like it noted that there are 640 pictures. *dies* So far I think I've seen the side of her head twice.

1. Paris is too cute and totally my favorite.

2. Oh. my. god. Mullet Man made it through to Hollywood. I was looking for him (he was the one person I kept seeing around downtown during auditions), and he pretty much flew by in one of those "these are the people going to Hollywood" moments, but...Mullet Man can sing! LOL (He's picture number 273 of the Greensboro photos.)

3. I apologize right now for Sabrina. She was on the news this morning. She still insists she can sing. Frankly, I found her Middle-Aged White Woman dancing to be even scarier than her singing.

4. I also apologize for Sammy. Wait, I don't. Everyone could tell he didn't care, that he just wanted attention.

5. I really, really apologize for the dude that sang Uncle Cracker a la Michael Jackson. He's from Randleman. Which means my parents and bubblesbrnaid could feasibly run into him at Wal-Mart.

6. However I'm really, really happy that the A&T music teacher made it through to Hollywood. Again, we didn't see him sing, but he made it through!

(no subject)

There are moments when rural education succeeds, despite all it's efforts, in actually producing a child that knows things about any random subject (but usually reading, writing, or arithmatic - maybe science too). Then there are ones where children stumble blindly through, thinking they learned a lot, and discovering...nope. Didn't learn diddly.

( Memeage )

I would like to point out that the above meme LIES. Because most questions answered correctly undoubtedly were answered correctly because at least I can guess in the ballpark. Go ahead, ask me about parts of speech. Ask me to diagram a sentence. I couldn't tell you a part or diagram a sentence because I got put in an academically gifted class, which means "She doesn't need to learn things, no matter that it'll be on the SAT, because she's smrt - and we all know that smrt kids need to read 1984 and Animal Farm 5,000 times before they graduate college!" (Seriously folks, I've read those two books more times than I need to, yet did I ever get to read To Kill A Mockingbird in a class? Did we ever read Tom Sawyer or Huckleberry Finn? Nope.)

(no subject)

For Christmas, as a joke and because of stories from Bubbles, I got my sister's dog a Jeff Gordon squeaky dog bone.

Notice how blue it is. Notice how noticably Gordon it is. See, my brother-in-law is a Dale Earnhardt (senior) fan, so, on advice, I didn't get Maddie a Sr. bone, as it would be kind of morbid for her to chew on the bone of someone 1) Jamie liked and 2) who was dead. Since Jeff is hated, it naturally works out, right?

*eg*

(Well, plus the hollering I knew there was bound to be.)

Cut to Christmas day, when they opened the box. My brother-in-law promptly swore that if Maddie hadn't chewed it up by the end of the day, he'd help her tear it up. (Maddie actually chewed up the drywall once. And destroyed her collar for the invisible fence. The dog can tear up anything.)

I got around to asking about the toy. Seems Maddie *likes* the toy. She hasn't torn it up (despite much encouragement from Jamie). In fact, should she be let out in the house, she has taken to walking into the living room, then going back to her crate for the Jeff Gordon bone.

My sister's dog is a Gordon fan.

*giggles madly*