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Argh! We've had non-stop customers all morning. I swear, mom's customers waited until today, and they've all wanted help. As soon as I help one, the next one has a question. And no one wants to order the items that aren't in stock.
The memorables. (What I said was actually much nicer, but for the sake of my sarcasm, I'm typing in the snarky way it could have been said.
Client #1:
Do y’all have a bulletin board for Word Families?
Well, we did, but we sold out of them last week at the super mega sale that you didn’t come to. Just imagine! You could have gotten it 65% off!
When will you be getting it in?
Unless you special order it, never, as we had it in stock for two years and never sold a single one until the sale.
(Yet does she special order it? Nope.)
Client #2:
Do you have this book by Scholastic?
I’m sorry, we don’t stock Scholastic, but I might be able to special order it.
No thanks. I’ll just copy my friend’s book.
(We’d stock Scholastic if they didn’t screw teacher supply stores over by selling their product at Wal-Mart cheaper.)
Sales Lady:
Mom pawns sales lady off on me. Evil mother. Sales lady is selling…stuff. To do with facial cleansing care. It’s in a bag and it’s sitting on the counter staring at me because this woman came in at the wrong time, which means I just need her to go, and great, she’s going to come to my house to sell me this crap.
My mother so owes me.
Client #4:
Wants the Big Money Bulletin Board Set.
Gracie is such a good girl.
But it has words.
Gracie is such a good girl.
Anything without words?
Gracie is such a good girl.
But that other set without the words…the money is too small!
Gracie is such a good girl.
Maybe I can make do with the other…
Gracie is such a good girl.
But there’s not enough of each money type.
Gracie is such a good girl.
I’ll just come back next week and talk to your mother about it.
Client #12:
Walks in. Asks about products. Proceeds to talk my ear off for 30 minutes and doesn’t buy a thing. I do, however, now know how she feels on her granddaughter wanting to be home schooled, all her views on learning Spanish, her granddaughter learning to whistle, and students who work and go to school. Never actually lets me answer her about the products.
***
NASCAR
Stremme feeling better: #40 Coors Light/Lonestar Dodge Driver David Stremme is feeling better after twisting his ankle and tearing all the ligaments in his right foot while using a leaf blower. The injury occured at his home near Charlotte several weeks before Christmas. Stremme said, “I’ve been fighting with the landscape company…they’ve not been showing up and they’ve been a pain in the butt. All my leaves were blowing across the street into my neighbor Joe Nemechek’s yard so I figured I needed to clean them up.” Stremme made sure he was okay to start the season by testing his foot riding go-carts. Stremme added, “I wish it had been my brake pedal foot instead of my gas pedal foot.”
There are no words. Except for my giggling. Mainly over the headline, which was "Stremme okay after leaf blower incident". That is a total dork move.
The memorables. (What I said was actually much nicer, but for the sake of my sarcasm, I'm typing in the snarky way it could have been said.
Client #1:
Do y’all have a bulletin board for Word Families?
Well, we did, but we sold out of them last week at the super mega sale that you didn’t come to. Just imagine! You could have gotten it 65% off!
When will you be getting it in?
Unless you special order it, never, as we had it in stock for two years and never sold a single one until the sale.
(Yet does she special order it? Nope.)
Client #2:
Do you have this book by Scholastic?
I’m sorry, we don’t stock Scholastic, but I might be able to special order it.
No thanks. I’ll just copy my friend’s book.
(We’d stock Scholastic if they didn’t screw teacher supply stores over by selling their product at Wal-Mart cheaper.)
Sales Lady:
Mom pawns sales lady off on me. Evil mother. Sales lady is selling…stuff. To do with facial cleansing care. It’s in a bag and it’s sitting on the counter staring at me because this woman came in at the wrong time, which means I just need her to go, and great, she’s going to come to my house to sell me this crap.
My mother so owes me.
Client #4:
Wants the Big Money Bulletin Board Set.
Gracie is such a good girl.
But it has words.
Gracie is such a good girl.
Anything without words?
Gracie is such a good girl.
But that other set without the words…the money is too small!
Gracie is such a good girl.
Maybe I can make do with the other…
Gracie is such a good girl.
But there’s not enough of each money type.
Gracie is such a good girl.
I’ll just come back next week and talk to your mother about it.
Client #12:
Walks in. Asks about products. Proceeds to talk my ear off for 30 minutes and doesn’t buy a thing. I do, however, now know how she feels on her granddaughter wanting to be home schooled, all her views on learning Spanish, her granddaughter learning to whistle, and students who work and go to school. Never actually lets me answer her about the products.
***
NASCAR
Stremme feeling better: #40 Coors Light/Lonestar Dodge Driver David Stremme is feeling better after twisting his ankle and tearing all the ligaments in his right foot while using a leaf blower. The injury occured at his home near Charlotte several weeks before Christmas. Stremme said, “I’ve been fighting with the landscape company…they’ve not been showing up and they’ve been a pain in the butt. All my leaves were blowing across the street into my neighbor Joe Nemechek’s yard so I figured I needed to clean them up.” Stremme made sure he was okay to start the season by testing his foot riding go-carts. Stremme added, “I wish it had been my brake pedal foot instead of my gas pedal foot.”
There are no words. Except for my giggling. Mainly over the headline, which was "Stremme okay after leaf blower incident". That is a total dork move.
