In this corner

It's sad when you watch Family Feud just because it's NASCAR week.

And then giggle over a driver you *like* getting soundly beaten, just because you can't stand his wife. Hey, Delana, women do NOT keep magazines in the bathroom. WTF? Think logically. We don't roost. On the plus side, the male crew members got the answer right. Sadly, Kevin chose his wife over his crew.

And Jeremy Mayfield's wife kicks *ass*.

*squee*

Power Rankings: In Which There Is Dukes Of Hazzard Mocking

Jimmie Johnson: Jimmie, it might help your title chances somewhat to offer Kevin Harvick some cash to stay home this weekend. Think of it as an investment in a title, not a financial loss.

There are so many things I could say. So. Many. NASCAR, please don't make this easy on me.

Dale Earnhardt Jr.: The team elected to save a few pounds by not running with a spare battery on board. Actually, this is the team’s fault, because Dale Jr. saved eight pounds of weight by cutting his hair two weeks ago, so they could have reinstalled a spare battery.

Note to E. Sadler...please employ the same strategy.

Joe Nemechek: 01 – We don’t care if you have scored more points in the last six races than Jeff Gordon. In its prime, The General Lee was still the faster No. 01. But only when driven by Bo. Luke was not a good driver.

Squee!!!!

Kasey Kahne: We got good news for ya, Kase. Lindsey Lohan is available. Maybe you can star with her in her next movie: Mean Stewart.

Oh now, that's just mean. Now, if that had involved running *over* Lindsey Lohan in the number 9 Dodge...that would be funny.

Rusty Wallace: His daughter is dating Jamie McMurray, which is cool, because Jamie’s probably pretty lenient about letting Rusty get some laps back.

I would like to take this moment to boggle. *boggle*

Dale Jarrett: Like Bobby Labonte, he’s facing the potential end of his nine-year winning streak. Which can mean only one thing – the mustache needs to make a return in 2005.

Nooooo!!!!!! Please, someone, get the man some green argyle socks! Stat!

Kevin Harvick: He had some run-ins with Johnson at Darlington. Johnson says they haven’t talked yet, mainly because Harvick’s car stopped way the hell out in Turn 2, and man, that’s a long walk out there.

*cough*Lover's quarrel*cough* The make up sex is going to be a bitch.

In the same vein.

Because it's been a while, and sadly my ability to spot slashy vibes in the Gillette Young Guns commercials has been on the skids...

Is it just me, or the commercial wherein Ryan Newman and Matt Borland are in the garage with a razor that they're in awe of...kinda slashy? They're *way* too excited about shaving.

Granted, it's not on the scale of the Johnson/Harvick touchy-feely-fest, but it's something. And I'd swear I'd never put Newman in a slashy context, but...

ETA: Boris Said has a ride!

Eyes Wide Open

Gyllenhaal Struggled with "Painful" Gay Scenes

Donnie Darko star Jake Gyllenhaal was left in pain after shooting gay love scenes with Heath Ledger in new movie Brokeback Mountain. The pair play cowboys who fall in love in the western - and Gyllenhaal found the shoot particularly punishing. He says, "Heath almost broke my nose in (a kissing) scene. He grabs me and he slams me up against the wall and kisses me. And then I grab him and I slam him up against the wall and I kiss him. And we were doing take after take after take. I got the sh*t beat out of me. We had other scenes where we fought each other and I wasn't hurting as badly as I did after that one."

*blink*

When does this movie come out again?

Oh dear lord

The following entry is not a slam against any of my friends from New York. It is a slam on anyone from New York, L.A., or basically any large city who tries to use their location as a means of intimidating others. And mainly applies to the advertising industry (and probably to the entertainment industry as well).

***

Me: Good afternoon, XYZ Company.

Idiot: May I speak to John Doe please?

Me: May I ask who's calling?

Idiot: Yes, it's Jane Smith from New York.

Me: ...

*eye roll*

Dear Jane Smith. My first reaction upon hearing that line leave your mouth was to say "so?" My second reaction was "ooooohhhh, good for you honey, you know where you are!" Neither one was particularly professional, so I refrained. But seriously, I've heard that line *way* too much. Get over it. You're from New York. It's no longer the advertising mecca of the world. Atlanta is hopping. Houston has it going on. There are far more big advertising cities than just your one. So just STOP with the flaunting.