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The carpal tunnel is acting up today. Pain! I have a feeling it was yesterday's paper, although the paper really wasn't that long. But combine typing with weird humidity levels, and I get aching joints.
***
I've been thinking about what I prefer in a 'ship. I've been thinking about it awhile, and things![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
plum_evil have said for a long time, combined with this post from medie made it all gel.
My favorite 'ships are drawn out, there's the doubt that it'll ever actually happen, there's even usually abject denial of any feelings. There are usually major hurdles that it's doubtful can be overcome. Usually those are professional issues. Very rarely is it a personal thing. And always, always...one of them is snarky. (I also like for one to be an egghead and one to be a rebel, but that can be subject to change based on chemistry.)
But the strongest motivating factor in what I end up shipping is evidence of equality. This is something personal to me. I know women who prefer the man to be in charge in a relationship. They want to be taken care of. I know women who want to be in charge (and the men who want them to be in charge). There are dynamics in human relationships. Some men prefer to be taken care of.
Me? I refuse to "mother" a guy. If he can't stand on his own two feet and take care of himself, damn if I'm going to. A guy I grew up with, his mother desperately wants me to date him because he needs some one to fix him. Hell no! He needs to fix himself, not me.
But I also refuse to have some guy take care of me. Okay, in some instances (on very rare occassions) it would be nice to take care of a guy, or have him take care of me, but we're talking those moments when I'm sick, or somebody's getting laid. (Stop laughing.) Not in general day to day activity. I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I've done so for a very long time now. Yeah, I want to fall in love with a guy, but in the long haul, I'm more interested in the friendship (and the sex with a light dose of cuddling). I want a best friend in a long term relationship. I recognize I'm too strong willed to be taken care of - it would only breed resentment at not being in charge. But I definitely don't need to be in charge, because I just hate being the responsible one all the time (which means I stupidly slack off on things and end up scrambling to cover *g*).
In a 'ship, I'm looking for those relationships that are similar. Equality. Balance. It's not about anything more than two personalities that clash at times but complement each other nicely.
Okay, so equality. I'm looking for equality. There's actually more out there than you might think.
But I'm not necessarily looking for the 'ship to ever be resolved. Part of it's the anticipation. I like to ponder on what could happen. But the results are rarely as grand or satisfying as what I might want, so why go there? Why would I want the show or movie to actually satisfy that urge if it's then over and done with? If that's part of why I watch, why ruin my fun? UST rocks my socks ten ways to Sunday (come onplum_evil, give me a standing O for UST!).
My active 'ships that I adore, but really don't want to get together (or the ones that did get together and how it was done wrong/right). And let me just say, trying to convince me that any of these ships was ever wrong/horrible/the devil's work or not nearly as perfect as some other ship...unless it's Clana, the argument will be ignored (not saying I'm going to root for Clana, just saying it's the only one I actively find to be wrong and hideous). I have my preferences, you have your preferences (and remember that the "you" in question is royal in nature, meaning fandom at large), we can all agree to disagree about whether or not a ship was a good idea or would be a good idea. But I like what I like and no one's changing my mind.
Damn that came off combative. *g* Sorry! Just forewarning though.
My 'Ships
1. Smallville/Superman
I love Chloe, I do, but unless she magically (or...whatever) turns into Lois, she will not be my 'ship in the Superman fandom at large. She's my Smallville ship, but it's not a true love kind of thing. Lois is it all the way. My love for Lois & Clark waned primarily because of the marriage. I wanted much more of the romance, much more of the drawn out dance. But in regards to the whole Superman story...the relationship between Lois and Clark is based on an equal standing and a common goal. There's sparkage and disagreements, there's realistic conflict between two people with clashing personalities. What I always hated was that, like in other shows, when the romance was finally realized, the clash of personalities suddenly disappeared and everything was hunky-dory. The romance was perfect, with only silly arguments over things such as towels on the bathroom floor or somesuch domestic nonsense. Folks, marriage is *hard* and takes work. Are personalities supposed to suddenly change overnight? No! That was my problem with L&C...suddenly, to me, they got boring. The conflicts that had always been between them suddenly became external conflicts to the relationship...outside forces trying to keep them apart. The whole "love conquers all" schtick is tired and weak, especially considering love *doesn't* conquer all. Love requires work, because as much as you might love someone, some days you just don't like them.
Yep, severely grounded in reality. Would you believe I'm a romantic at heart?
But out of all my 'ships, Lois and Clark are the ultimate one. They are the pair that cause extreme pingage. Of my top five 'ships (all of which are listed here), they are the one that I will always choose for compatibility with that spark. It's a yin-yang thing, but as is life, the fit is never going to be perfect (besides, perfect harmony in a relationship is booooooring).
2. X-Files
I didn't start watching X-Files until the third season, but I was on board with the Mulder/Scully from day one. Did Mulder deserve her? Nope. I've had fights with people (okay, just on one list) over me calling Mulder a loser. The man chose to do things that were harmful to himself and to Scully. He had severe emotional issues. He was reckless and dangerous to be around.
And Scully stuck by him through that.
People make choices in life and have to live with their choices. People have baggage and issues. That's just how life is. I've heard before that you should love someone in spite of their flaws. Wrong. You should love someone because of their flaws (okay, but only as long as they make an effort to overcome those flaws, because if the flaw is beating the crap out of women...don't love him). You love the whole package, not just the parts you like.
The whole Mulder/Scully thing comes down to the devotion they have to each other. You never doubted they'd die for one another. I'd have been happy forever with just that bit, their friendship. The love was there and plain to see, whether it was interpreted as merely a friendship love or a romantic love. And it grew. It wasn't like there was this instantaneous something that blossomed into a full-fledged romance. They were strangers who were put together in a work environment and grew to love and trust each other more than any other person.
My whole issue with the way the X-Files handled Mulder and Scully was that FOX didn't want to let the show go when it should have. I liked the hand holds, the little touch on the back, the tiny identifiers of something more without being shown the whole story. Hell, I liked the X files and the scientific stuff, the aliens and the conspiracies. The show was a quest and a journey, and the 'ship worked for me because it wasn't the focus. They had lives and purpose beyond just getting in the sack. That's a big one for any ship I have...a life beyond the romance. Instead FOX kept wanting more. I liked Doggett. I liked Reyes. What I didn't like was the separated lovers angle, the constant search for Mulder. It took me away from what I loved about the series. It all could have been solved by ending at the end of season 7. Maybe without the baby, but that still could have been workable given the right circumstances.
3. Stargate
I know I rarely mention it, but I love Stargate. I think it has to do partially with it's superficial similarities to X-Files. It's episodic television dealing with aliens and conflict and saving Earth. They just have better weapons. And no porn for Jack. Stargate and X-Files both dealt with the journey and something bigger than the people involved, although the people involved are key to the story.
So that brings me to my love of the Jack/Sam. When it comes to 'ships, this is the one that will *never* happen (as far as a relationship goes), but that makes me happy. Because there can be little moments here and there that push boundaries they shouldn't be even touching, but actually crossing the boundaries violates some strong protocol. I will admit, I'm way behind others who have cable. Everyone who's been squeeing about Jonas? I only got him a couple of months ago. So, you know, I have no clue about future storylines with Jack and Sam or anyone. But still, I like that there's this big roadblock called the United States military between them. That's a big one. Then there's the fact of what they do. Their lives have Purpose (yes, with a capital 'p'), so even the concept of one of them ditching the military to work in some other environment so they could be together seems selfish.
4. Gilmore Girls
I was on track with "keep Luke and Lorelai apart until the end"...except their roadblocks have become ridiculous and of all the 'ships I 'ship, there's is the most likely to retain the spark and the conflict even inside a relationship. Their UST is magnetic, the spark beautifully, but come on! These people they keep choosing over each other are moronic and bland. Just get them together already then have fun with that clash.
5. X-Men
Rogue has always been my favorite (fiery, southern, and so isolated - major draw), and the first movie stunned me with the connection between Rogue and Logan. Call it brotherly affection, whatever. She was borderline 18, forced to grow up faster than most...I was seeing the development of the Rogue of the comics. It's the *idea* of Rogue when she's fully that down the road and Logan that makes me happy. (And no, I do not yell "Carol Danvers" at the screen every time I watch either movie. Really I don't.) I love Rogue and movie Wolvie suddenly just...fit. Huh. Just realized that they're two that *aren't* different. They're the most alike of all the pairings I adore.
But I realize that it's most likely not going to happen, based on many things (like the movie age difference - although he's older than everyone, her skin, the Jean crush, the Bobby crush, lack of any canon backing it up). This is the most fully unrealized of all the pairings as well, but it's based on the friendship, the mutual love, the "I'd do anything for you" attitude.
***
Argh! Carpal again. Killing me. Must. Stop. Typing!
***
I've been thinking about what I prefer in a 'ship. I've been thinking about it awhile, and things
plum_evil have said for a long time, combined with this post from medie made it all gel. My favorite 'ships are drawn out, there's the doubt that it'll ever actually happen, there's even usually abject denial of any feelings. There are usually major hurdles that it's doubtful can be overcome. Usually those are professional issues. Very rarely is it a personal thing. And always, always...one of them is snarky. (I also like for one to be an egghead and one to be a rebel, but that can be subject to change based on chemistry.)
But the strongest motivating factor in what I end up shipping is evidence of equality. This is something personal to me. I know women who prefer the man to be in charge in a relationship. They want to be taken care of. I know women who want to be in charge (and the men who want them to be in charge). There are dynamics in human relationships. Some men prefer to be taken care of.
Me? I refuse to "mother" a guy. If he can't stand on his own two feet and take care of himself, damn if I'm going to. A guy I grew up with, his mother desperately wants me to date him because he needs some one to fix him. Hell no! He needs to fix himself, not me.
But I also refuse to have some guy take care of me. Okay, in some instances (on very rare occassions) it would be nice to take care of a guy, or have him take care of me, but we're talking those moments when I'm sick, or somebody's getting laid. (Stop laughing.) Not in general day to day activity. I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I've done so for a very long time now. Yeah, I want to fall in love with a guy, but in the long haul, I'm more interested in the friendship (and the sex with a light dose of cuddling). I want a best friend in a long term relationship. I recognize I'm too strong willed to be taken care of - it would only breed resentment at not being in charge. But I definitely don't need to be in charge, because I just hate being the responsible one all the time (which means I stupidly slack off on things and end up scrambling to cover *g*).
In a 'ship, I'm looking for those relationships that are similar. Equality. Balance. It's not about anything more than two personalities that clash at times but complement each other nicely.
Okay, so equality. I'm looking for equality. There's actually more out there than you might think.
But I'm not necessarily looking for the 'ship to ever be resolved. Part of it's the anticipation. I like to ponder on what could happen. But the results are rarely as grand or satisfying as what I might want, so why go there? Why would I want the show or movie to actually satisfy that urge if it's then over and done with? If that's part of why I watch, why ruin my fun? UST rocks my socks ten ways to Sunday (come on
plum_evil, give me a standing O for UST!). My active 'ships that I adore, but really don't want to get together (or the ones that did get together and how it was done wrong/right). And let me just say, trying to convince me that any of these ships was ever wrong/horrible/the devil's work or not nearly as perfect as some other ship...unless it's Clana, the argument will be ignored (not saying I'm going to root for Clana, just saying it's the only one I actively find to be wrong and hideous). I have my preferences, you have your preferences (and remember that the "you" in question is royal in nature, meaning fandom at large), we can all agree to disagree about whether or not a ship was a good idea or would be a good idea. But I like what I like and no one's changing my mind.
Damn that came off combative. *g* Sorry! Just forewarning though.
My 'Ships
1. Smallville/Superman
I love Chloe, I do, but unless she magically (or...whatever) turns into Lois, she will not be my 'ship in the Superman fandom at large. She's my Smallville ship, but it's not a true love kind of thing. Lois is it all the way. My love for Lois & Clark waned primarily because of the marriage. I wanted much more of the romance, much more of the drawn out dance. But in regards to the whole Superman story...the relationship between Lois and Clark is based on an equal standing and a common goal. There's sparkage and disagreements, there's realistic conflict between two people with clashing personalities. What I always hated was that, like in other shows, when the romance was finally realized, the clash of personalities suddenly disappeared and everything was hunky-dory. The romance was perfect, with only silly arguments over things such as towels on the bathroom floor or somesuch domestic nonsense. Folks, marriage is *hard* and takes work. Are personalities supposed to suddenly change overnight? No! That was my problem with L&C...suddenly, to me, they got boring. The conflicts that had always been between them suddenly became external conflicts to the relationship...outside forces trying to keep them apart. The whole "love conquers all" schtick is tired and weak, especially considering love *doesn't* conquer all. Love requires work, because as much as you might love someone, some days you just don't like them.
Yep, severely grounded in reality. Would you believe I'm a romantic at heart?
But out of all my 'ships, Lois and Clark are the ultimate one. They are the pair that cause extreme pingage. Of my top five 'ships (all of which are listed here), they are the one that I will always choose for compatibility with that spark. It's a yin-yang thing, but as is life, the fit is never going to be perfect (besides, perfect harmony in a relationship is booooooring).
2. X-Files
I didn't start watching X-Files until the third season, but I was on board with the Mulder/Scully from day one. Did Mulder deserve her? Nope. I've had fights with people (okay, just on one list) over me calling Mulder a loser. The man chose to do things that were harmful to himself and to Scully. He had severe emotional issues. He was reckless and dangerous to be around.
And Scully stuck by him through that.
People make choices in life and have to live with their choices. People have baggage and issues. That's just how life is. I've heard before that you should love someone in spite of their flaws. Wrong. You should love someone because of their flaws (okay, but only as long as they make an effort to overcome those flaws, because if the flaw is beating the crap out of women...don't love him). You love the whole package, not just the parts you like.
The whole Mulder/Scully thing comes down to the devotion they have to each other. You never doubted they'd die for one another. I'd have been happy forever with just that bit, their friendship. The love was there and plain to see, whether it was interpreted as merely a friendship love or a romantic love. And it grew. It wasn't like there was this instantaneous something that blossomed into a full-fledged romance. They were strangers who were put together in a work environment and grew to love and trust each other more than any other person.
My whole issue with the way the X-Files handled Mulder and Scully was that FOX didn't want to let the show go when it should have. I liked the hand holds, the little touch on the back, the tiny identifiers of something more without being shown the whole story. Hell, I liked the X files and the scientific stuff, the aliens and the conspiracies. The show was a quest and a journey, and the 'ship worked for me because it wasn't the focus. They had lives and purpose beyond just getting in the sack. That's a big one for any ship I have...a life beyond the romance. Instead FOX kept wanting more. I liked Doggett. I liked Reyes. What I didn't like was the separated lovers angle, the constant search for Mulder. It took me away from what I loved about the series. It all could have been solved by ending at the end of season 7. Maybe without the baby, but that still could have been workable given the right circumstances.
3. Stargate
I know I rarely mention it, but I love Stargate. I think it has to do partially with it's superficial similarities to X-Files. It's episodic television dealing with aliens and conflict and saving Earth. They just have better weapons. And no porn for Jack. Stargate and X-Files both dealt with the journey and something bigger than the people involved, although the people involved are key to the story.
So that brings me to my love of the Jack/Sam. When it comes to 'ships, this is the one that will *never* happen (as far as a relationship goes), but that makes me happy. Because there can be little moments here and there that push boundaries they shouldn't be even touching, but actually crossing the boundaries violates some strong protocol. I will admit, I'm way behind others who have cable. Everyone who's been squeeing about Jonas? I only got him a couple of months ago. So, you know, I have no clue about future storylines with Jack and Sam or anyone. But still, I like that there's this big roadblock called the United States military between them. That's a big one. Then there's the fact of what they do. Their lives have Purpose (yes, with a capital 'p'), so even the concept of one of them ditching the military to work in some other environment so they could be together seems selfish.
4. Gilmore Girls
I was on track with "keep Luke and Lorelai apart until the end"...except their roadblocks have become ridiculous and of all the 'ships I 'ship, there's is the most likely to retain the spark and the conflict even inside a relationship. Their UST is magnetic, the spark beautifully, but come on! These people they keep choosing over each other are moronic and bland. Just get them together already then have fun with that clash.
5. X-Men
Rogue has always been my favorite (fiery, southern, and so isolated - major draw), and the first movie stunned me with the connection between Rogue and Logan. Call it brotherly affection, whatever. She was borderline 18, forced to grow up faster than most...I was seeing the development of the Rogue of the comics. It's the *idea* of Rogue when she's fully that down the road and Logan that makes me happy. (And no, I do not yell "Carol Danvers" at the screen every time I watch either movie. Really I don't.) I love Rogue and movie Wolvie suddenly just...fit. Huh. Just realized that they're two that *aren't* different. They're the most alike of all the pairings I adore.
But I realize that it's most likely not going to happen, based on many things (like the movie age difference - although he's older than everyone, her skin, the Jean crush, the Bobby crush, lack of any canon backing it up). This is the most fully unrealized of all the pairings as well, but it's based on the friendship, the mutual love, the "I'd do anything for you" attitude.
***
Argh! Carpal again. Killing me. Must. Stop. Typing!