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Oh lord, my boss is a space. Jeez. That's all I'm saying. She's a space.

So I've been listening to mostly country music lately, and it struck me that there are a lot of songs out right now that can bring me to tears. And folks, that's a rare thing. Granted, I love music, but songs generally aren't poignant and sad enough to make me cry. But lately there have been a few that are capable of that.

I don't know what it is about country music, but there are several country artists who have the ability to write or choose songs that musically and lyrically have a strong emotional impact.

Back in about 1997 or so, a song came out by a woman that didn't go much of anywhere on the charts. But man, that song made me bawl. It was "A Dozen Red Roses" by Tammy Graham, and it was about a woman receiving roses on her wedding day from her dad. The catch was, he had died years before, but he had left instructions with his wife that the day their daughter married, roses were to be delivered to the church along with a note he wrote before he died. Needless to say, that song really got me. A friend of mine even used it in her wedding because her dad had died years before.

On occassion, "Where Were You (When The World Stopped Turning)" by Alan Jackson can make me cry. There's just a sincerity about Alan and the times that song came out of that make me hurt.

But lately there have been three songs that want to make me cry for different reasons.

The first one is "Private Andrew Malone." A song about a guy who went off to war and was killed in action, but he left a note in his old Mustang (or some hotrod car) telling how special it was to him. The note is found by a guy who buys the car from the guy's mom years later. It's not a traditional country sound, and it's just one of those songs that drives home the notion of dreams and reality.

Then there's "Traveling Soldier" by the Dixie Chicks. That one just...partially it's Natalie Maines' voice. When she sings "bow your heads for the Vietnam dead" it just hits you hard in the stomach. It was a perfect marriage of music, vocal talent and excellent lyrics. Haunting and heartbreaking.

But lastly is what has to be my new favorite. It's sad and yet loving. It's "I Believe" by Diamond Rio. It's sort of a Mulder/Scully song. The lyrics are down farther, but if you watched X-Files, you know how Mulder and Scully each reacted when the other was presumed dead for an extended period of time. This song reflects that. And Diamond Rio has really hit their stride with this album. I thought "Beautiful Mess" was great for it's haunting and apt title and tune. But "I Believe" kicks Mess's butt.

My favorite line is "Oh, the people who don't see the most, See that I believe in ghosts. If that makes me crazy, then I am, 'Cause I believe."

The ghosts part just reflects how desperately he wants to believe he can still feel his wife's presence. Very haunting. Very sad. Highly romantic too.

I Believe

Every now and then,
Soft as breath upon my skin,
I feel you come back again,
And it's like you haven't been,
Gone a moment from my side.
Like the tears were never cried;
Like the hands of time are holding you and me.

And with all my heart I'm sure,
We're closer than we ever were.
I don't have to hear or see,
I've got all the proof I need.
There are more than angels watching over me:
I believe; Oh, I believe.

That when you die your life goes on:
It doesn't end here when you're gone.
Every soul is filled with light,
It never ends and if I'm right,
Our love can even reach across eternity:
I believe; Oh, I believe.

Forever, you're a part of me.
Forever, in the heart of me.
I will hold you even longer if I can.
Oh, the people who don't see the most,
See that I believe in ghosts.
If that makes me crazy, then I am,
'Cause I believe.

Oh I believe.

There are more than angels watching over me:
I believe; Oh, I believe.

Every now and then,
Soft as breath upon my skin,
I feel you come back again,
And I believe.

What a woman wants...

ddcatwoman got me thinking about what exactly I look for in a man. I already knew a few things, but I thought I'd see how extensive I could make my list (thereby making it nearly impossible for a man to fit the bill, but hey, if I could possibly get one out of 30, more's the better).

1. Have a steady form of employment OR have recently left a job that he was at for more than 2 years. I'm very wary of guys who jump from job to job. I know what it means. My sister does it on many occassions.

2. Have a college degree, be in the process of getting a college degree, or have received some sort of higher vocational training. Not everyone is meant for college. I know plenty of really smart guys who are mechanics. But there IS that one bit about looking to better yourself by taking an educational initiative in your field of choice.

3. Have all of your own teeth. Or, if you played hockey at some point, at least have the courtesy of replacing those teeth you lost.

4. Be a man. If I am going out on a date with you, be an adult about it. Treat me with respect. I shouldn't have to ask the maitre'd why they haven't seated us yet. You shouldn't believe that large amounts of profanity will impress me. You shouldn't expect me to be impressed with the fact that you have dated strippers. I am not some low-rent whore that thinks these things are a sign of high class.

5. Be a geek or a geek-lover. I accept the fact that I am a geek, but it's extremely hard to find a guy that openly admits to loving that in a woman. Or to being that himself. Believe me, geeks are highly sexy. Highly. Extremely.

6. Brains turn me on. Seriously. A man with a mind just sends me to another plane of existence. So don't be afraid to show it. I'm smart. I may lack common sense at times, but I do have brains in abundence, and I like a guy that can keep up or possibly excel. It challenges me to outwit.

7. On the flipside of that last one, you have to be able to dumb down at a moment's notice. Some of my family doesn't appreciate big words. To them, the term "bulbous" is just a sign that I'm being high fallutin' again. (And yes, I did actually get in trouble with grandmother for using that term to describe the salt and pepper shakers.)

8. Have a sense of humor. Preferrably self-depricating. A sense of humor is just below brains on the sexy-meter.

9. And don't sneer at my jokes. Seriously, I've gotten much better at telling jokes, so tolerance and laughter are key to winning my heart.

10. Patience is a virtue and comes in handy when I'm telling a story, so you must have plenty of it. I talk a lot. I admit it. I do my best to curb it. But there's no need to make me feel like the lowest lifeform on the planet just because I want to make sure you have all the pertinent details in a story in order to reach a certain conclusion. Besides, I like to entertain too with a story. You have to *build* to the climax.

Ahem. Slightly off track there. *g*

11. Have eclectic interests. Don't just be a baseball fanatic. There is more to life.

12. Be aware of the world as a whole. Not just your little corner of it.

And this is where it starts getting to the physical.

13. As long as you're taller than me, I'm good. Or, if you're shorter, don't have issues with me wearing high heels. I like em, so get over it.

14. I kind of like glasses on a guy, but he doesn't have to wear them. But if you do, don't go out and get contacts just for me.

15. I'm not crazy about what are considered conventionally handsome men. I like quirky. Slightly different. Think David Duchovny. He's quirky.

16. Nice broad shoulders are a plus too.

17. And don't take this the wrong way anyone, but while I find a guys of any race attractive and have been attracted to guys of several different races, I do have a specific preference for Asian men. Any Asian nationality. You stand a crowd of men in front of me with every race on Earth, I will gravitate to the Asian men first.

18. Last, the most important characteristic is a decent personality. No jackasses, no jerks, no rascists, no pervs, no controlling freaks, no idiots. Just be normal.