maveness: (Mears - DieDieDie)
( May. 21st, 2010 02:23 pm)
Brian Vickers is out for the season.

ETA: BV - "You can race on blood thinners. You just can't crash."
maveness: (Default)
( Dec. 2nd, 2009 07:21 pm)
NASCAR Roast of Jimmie Johnson

I'm putting these here so I don't forget them EVER. That and they make plot bunnies go wild.

From Jeff Gluck's Twitter

Jimmie Johnson

Jimmie: "I know I've been pissing all you off the last four years, but I've never really been good at anything before."

The host just walked in and gave Jimmie a book: " #NASCAR for Dummies."

Jeff Gordon

Gordon, who has been target of gay jokes, tells Carl that getting married and having a kid is "a great cover." Pretty hilarious!

Jeff Gordon says he has a lot of JJ stories he can't tell b/c he's in a lot of them himself. JJ says, "These were all pre-marriage!"

Mark Martin

Mark Martin says he heard JJ was so ugly as a kid, he had to trick-or-treat by telephone.

Mark Martin gets to microphone and fan yells "Stand up!" Martin says, "I AM standing up."

Host says to Mark Martin, "I don't want to say you're too old to drive, but the pole-sitter of your first race was Ben Hur."

Greg Biffle

Biffle: "I'm not going to say a f@+#** thing about Jimmie because I'm sick and tired of hearing his name."

Host says Greg Biffle is "Al Gore minus the charisma." (Side note: Maveness will kick the butt of anyone who thinks Greg is without personality. He's dry! Dry I tell you! And he is LOVE.)

Denny Hamlin

Denny on JJ: "It's really hard to win the championship w/ the best team, the best crew chief and no mech. failures in 4 f@+#* years"

Denny on JJ: "The only thing faster than him is his receding hairline."

Kurt Busch

Kurt Busch says to Jimmie, "I go to Baskin Robbins and I look at vanilla and it says 'Jimmie Johnson' on it."

Carl Edwards

Carl says he's been out w/JJ a lot and knows he's not gay, "because he's only hit on me twice." Laughter erupts.

Dale Earnhardt Jr.

Host calls Dale Jr "the Paris Hilton of #NASCAR." Crowd hisses. And says Carl is the love child of Gov. Arnold and John Elway.

Brian Vickers

Vickers tells EVERYONE about Jimmie using Propecia and says he'd be bald otherwise! JJ is embarrassed.

Host to Vickers: "Red Bull gives you wings. It'd be nice if they gave you an engine too, huh?"

Juan Pablo Montoya

Juan Pablo Montoya to JJ: "I'm f*#@+@ tired of hearing 'Jimmie...Jimmie...Jimmie.' Give us a f+@#* break."

Ryan Newman

Ryan Newman to Jimmie: "Four in a row. Bet you wish you could do that with your wife, huh?"

Kasey Kahne

Host asks where Kasey Kahne is and says, "I didn't see you behind the grown-ups."
maveness: (Dean - Impala Love)
( Oct. 29th, 2009 08:14 pm)
NASCAR Things

1. Brian Vickers: Don't know who all watched the pre-race retrospective last Sunday at Martinsville (you know, the "it's been five years since The Crash" spiel). I was only paying attention to it halfway, because it's always the same things and it was sad, but they didn't mention the five year anniversary of Junior going to Daytona, so chill already, you know? And then, when I realized that Brian was on my screen...he doesn't talk about it. He'll talk about the happy times with Ricky, but he doesn't talk about it. And that little clip, with the LOOK that he gave. I nearly bawled for the boy.

2. AJ Allmendinger: *sigh* Imma kick his ass. Who wants to go with? (DWI, for those who haven't heard.)

3. David Ragan, Michael Waltrip, Kurt Busch, Denny Hamlin: OMG, while I'm not shocked that Denny is the dumbest of the bunch so far on Smarter Than A 5th Grader (he's barely smarter than a first grader), dudes. DUDES. We finally get a measurable sense of a Busch's brains, and he's dumber than Michael Waltrip? (Okay, for the record, Mikey is wicked smart and just hides it well as part of a schtick. But still. This is book learning we're talking about. This is supposed to be Kurt's area.) Tomorrow night is Carl. I have to admit, I'm not thrilled that we've got a whole week of guys and we didn't get Ryan Newman or Brian Vickers. Those two are supposedly the smartest in the garage. I've been dying to see how they stack up against Mikey. Couldn't we have done without Denny?
maveness: (Default)
( Aug. 21st, 2009 06:01 pm)
1. Hairdresser butchered my hair today. I'm pissed. I wasn't happy when I saw it, then when I got home and truly got a bead on it, I was mad. It's too short. Way too freaking short. I don't know what the hell she was thinking. A trim does not mean completely rework my hairstyle. The good news is, I have a month and a half until my next haircut (for my sister's wedding). So I can have a talk with her before the next cut to explain what she can and cannot do with my hair.

2. I'm so desperately ready for a job that I'm actually getting mad. That plus sleep deprivation and driving a lot. 18 hours of driving in the past week alone just for job hunting. (Trip to Georgia and trip to south of the state.) One place sent out an email that they won't be contacting anyone again until OCTOBER. Fuckers.

3. My grandmother is stressed (one of her dearest friends fell down stairs and broke her neck. Yes, she's dead.), which I understand, but it's resulting in her being hypercritical. I've taken to hiding in the basement.

4. My overwhelming urge right now is to eat. Even when I'm not hungry. I want food. Because I'm unhappy and I don't know why, but food seems to be the answer. Except I'm refusing to go that route, as we all know where it ends up. My biggest hope is that next weekend will make up for the crappy.

5. Next weekend is a trip to the beach for my sister. 7 or 8 of us in a condo. The annoying part is that one car is leaving at 7 a.m. and plans on spending all day on teh beach. Car number two leaves at 6 p.m. Quite honestly, I don't want to leave early, but I don't want to leave late. I'd like to leave midday. And I've been in such a bad mood that I'm wondering if maybe I should drive separately. Gotta see about that.

So, something that pleases me...

Brian Vickers' muscular, running ass )

Casey Mears hugging Brian, plus some dude staring at Casey's ass )

My hilarious Greg and Jamie mini-standups )

Hot wheels! And hot lug nuts. )
maveness: (Default)
( Mar. 27th, 2009 11:28 am)
1) Comment to this with 3 people for me* and I will give you 3 people.
2) Post this meme with your answers.
3) Provide pictures and the names of 3 people.
4) Label which you would marry, shag, and throw off a cliff.

(*Edited because I'm just bored enough to want to do this more than once.)

Cliff, Shag, Marry )
maveness: (Hot)
( Feb. 19th, 2009 06:40 pm)
I solemnly swear that I am not allowed to touch hair dye for the next year.

*sigh*

I dyed my hair. I dyed my hair light natural golden brown. My hair is almost black. I do not understand the chemical make-up of my hair and why it does this!

The only good news is this - my sister's friend Misty (who always has cute hair) is currently working at a salon here in town. I'm going to call her tomorrow or Monday about an appointment to get my hair cut (I have way too much hair, plus breakage issues, plus it's been possibly 8 months since a good cut) and some highlights. At least reddish highlights or golden highlights can cut the overwhelming blackness.

Maybe Dale Earnhardt is haunting my hair. (It would explain the blackness.)


***


Also, could this dang headache go away? I want to be able to eat my peanut butter cup pie at some point. Just a small piece, since I had way too many salmon patties for dinner.


***


Vickers was on "Rome is Burning" or whatever it's called today. I'm going to watch it shortly, but I don't anticipate much. Mainly because Jim Rome hates NASCAR and has refused for years to talk about it. The only good thing is that if anyone can be calm and logical and take down Jim in an argument, Vickers can.
maveness: (McShortenstuff)
( Feb. 15th, 2009 07:30 pm)
2009 Daytona 500

Bonehead move of the race: Dale Earnhardt Jr.

I'm trying to decide if it's just Carl Edwards at Talledega during the Chase level of bonehead or a special level above that. Here's the reasons why. It was finally figured out in post race interviews that Junior didn't realize Vickers was racing him for position. That's the only saving grace Junior gets. If you're not racing a guy for position, you wouldn't expect them to block you like that. The thing is, it's still WAY too aggressive of a move. (Carl did a bonehead move by failing at basic racing technique to other Chasers during the Chase. But which is worse? I'm still up in the air.)

The great thing is, no one can ever ever EVER bring up that Talladega race again. Ever.

***

Psychic revelation of the race: Elliott Sadler

For predicting that he totally wouldn't win. I think that actually qualifies as a last lap pass for the win, doesn't it? I wouldn't want to be trying to interview Elliott tonight. I know he finished fifth, but that's going to be a whole lotta bitter man.

***

Who saw that coming event of the race: Matt Kenseth

Raise your hand if you saw that one coming. Now raise your hand if you thought the robot would leak motor oil all over pit road. (OMG, the crying into Katie's shoulder was SO CUTE. Yes. I want to cuddle a Kenseth.) Now the only thing he has to contend with is going to NYC and doing interviews. For Kenseth, he just won the biggest race of his life and now will be subjected to hell.

***

Interview that is going to make everyone love or hate a driver: Brian Vickers

Dude had every right to be pissed. And it'll only be slightly less angry-making when he finds out that Junior didn't wreck him intentionally but didn't know he was on the same lap as Junior.

***

Commercials made of win: Toyota, that zoomy monstery Sprint commercial, Lowe's, probably something I'm forgetting

Toyota: Vickers screaming and hiding from the scary robot! Mikey battling it with pipes! Hamlin's shirt being ripped off (while thankfully he had an undershirt on)! Reutimann! No Logano!

Zoomy Sprint Commercial: Dude, Carl Edwards as the Yellow Eyed Demon. Nuff said.

Lowe's: Chad says "Jimmie, what are you doing down there?" I say "TOTALLY SLASHY."

ETA: Every commercial with Bobby Labonte and his ass OMG!!!!! [livejournal.com profile] comeawayeasy, I swear, we were already excited he had commercials. And then they focused on his ass and there was squealing and thinking of you. And THEN she GRABBED HIS ASS and I died!!!!
maveness: (Holding)
( Jan. 29th, 2009 11:56 am)
60 Most Beautiful People in NASCAR

Number 8: Brian Vickers



He has a very large...brain. *g* Come on people! Okay, in all seriousness, the reasons I adore him.

1. His high IQ.
2. His environmental consciousness.
3. His freckles.
4. His red hair.

He'd rate higher, but that thing on his chin holds him back from being top five.

In fact, proving that my love for him is great (and that I'm a fair person), [livejournal.com profile] bubblesbrnaid can attest to the fact that I rejoiced quite a bit when Brian won at Talladega. And that's considering I was a Jimmie Johnson fan at the time AND I'm part of Junior Nation.

Bonus picture under cut )
maveness: (Cool)
( Nov. 19th, 2008 01:44 pm)
1. $1.89 a gallon. Gas for one dollar and freaking eighty-nine cents. A gallon. I filled up my car for $20.36 last night.

2. My desk at work has been taken over by ribbon. See? )

3. Hugh Jackman has been named the Sexiest Man Alive. To which I replied: Well, duh. And which meant dragging out that old thing where, if you were in a relationship (or are), which five celebs would you get a free pass to sleep with if given the opportunity? Me: Greg Biffle, Hugh Jackman, Christian Bale, Jensen Ackles, Brian Vickers. And if I had an opportunity with two of them and had to choose one, Biffle ranks first, Jackman ranks second and after that it's up for grabs.
maveness: (Bicep)
( Nov. 10th, 2008 07:47 pm)
Dear NASCAR.com Superstore,

There is something intrinsically wrong about having NASCAR candy cane ornaments for several drivers, but not for Kasey Kahne.

Also, for the record, I kind of sort of would have preferred just slightly to be sending my dad images of a Biffle or Jamie Mac or Vickers optical mouse shaped like a car. At least you let me choose between the AMP paint scheme and the National Guard paint scheme. Hopefully my dad will laugh and get it for me. *g* (I asked dad for an optical mouse. We'll ignore that he loaned me one to test that I haven't used yet.)

I'm also very tempted by the NASCAR Santa hats. I may need to back away from the store now.

(Ooohhh! Flannel jammies!)
maveness: (Whatcha Got There?)
( Oct. 22nd, 2008 01:54 pm)
More NASCAR Fun

Again, huge because it was a huge moment. As noted by my grin. (I don't remember this picture. See, they made me walk up, get a door prize, there was pointing to where I was to stand, I said something about redheads and I don't even remember him having his arm around me. AJ I remember. BV, my brain is fuzz.)



Oh, and I find it highly amusing that the actual redhead is more tan than the faux redhead.
maveness: (Whatcha Got There?)
( Oct. 22nd, 2008 08:42 am)
NASCAR News of the Day

Red Bull faces heavy fines for shaving weight:

Sadly, this does not mean they tackled Brian and shaved that thing off his face. Which, I'd totally help pay the fine for that. (If there was a shaving fine, though, that would possibly explain Raoul, Tony Stewart's facial hair and Jeff Gordon's eyebrows. Oh, and why Casey Mears is suddenly a Chia pet.)

NASCAR is expected to levy what could be record-breaking fines on the #83 Team Red Bull Toyota outfit on Wednesday. After Brian Vickers finished 11th at the Tums QuikPak 500 at Martinsville Speedway, the #83 Toyota was selected as the random car to be further inspected at the NASCAR Technical Center in Concord, N.C., where officials discovered the sheet metal on the #83 car did not meet the minimum thickness requirements. According to sources familiar with the situation, the sides of the car — the doors, fenders and quarter panels — were too thin. The NASCAR rulebook states in rule 20-2, 1D that teams must use a minimum of 24 gauge (0.025 inch thick) sheet steel for their car bodies. Also, the practice of "Acid dipping or chemical milling," which makes the sheet metal thinner, is strictly forbidden. One individual close to the situation said acid dipping would allow a fabricator to make the metal thinner. Once the steel is sanded and painted, it is nearly impossible for NASCAR to detect.
maveness: (Night to Day)
( Oct. 12th, 2008 02:13 am)
Quick Race Thoughts

I was there. It was cold. And loud.

1. At one point I looked down to turn 4 (I was in turn 2) and said "OMG. That car is in the wall. Oh wait. It's Junior. He's not in the wall. He's just driving the crazy line."

2. When you sit in turn 2, it's a hike to get to the merchandise trailers.

3. How do you run out of hot dogs at a race track?

4. I hate race traffic. Especially drunk race traffic. Trying to take my lane at 1 a.m. at 70 miles per hour.

5. I was an obnoxious Biffle/Vickers fan. Not slashy, just obnoxious when either of them was contending for the lead.

6. In the Nationwide race, every wreck happened in front of where I was sitting. For the Cup race, every wreck happened diagonally across the track where we couldn't see it.
maveness: (Whatcha Got There?)
( Oct. 6th, 2008 07:27 pm)
I think I hate life. Or just my intestines.

For anybody going to the race this weekend, I'll be there!

Now, the hating life part. I'm going to the Nationwide race courtesy of the Brian Vickers Fan Club. $60 (that I shouldn't have spent, but whatever) to watch the race from the Red Bull Energy Station. Free food and drinks all night. Goodie bag with lots of swag (including, I think, a signed diecast). BV is going to come hang out after the Nationwide race. For the record, the part I'm most excited about is watching from the Red Bull Energy Station. I'm a geek that way.

The part that has me hating life? The food is swank. FILET MIGNON PEOPLE. They're freaking serving filet mignon! And I don't eat beef! If it weren't for the fact that it would make me sick (seriously, it's why I swore off beef), I'd cave just Friday night. Instead I'll be nice and settle for the sea bass. Sea bass is good. Right? Right?

Oh, and Brian Vickers wrote on my Facebook wall. *snerk* Okay, I'm pretty sure it's Don his fan club guy (or PR guy/fan club guy - I've been trying to figure that out, because the fan club/official site could use some more updating and fixes). But still. The words "Brian Vickers wrote on your wall" cracked me up. Especially because it was a response to my comment praising him for the ding on Jimmy Spencer on NASCAR Raceday.
maveness: (Amusing Isn't It)
( Sep. 16th, 2008 07:58 pm)
Silly Fangirl Post

So, my silly superstition that I bring luck to drivers if I join their fan club? So I join a fan club a year? (Last year it was Jamie Mac. Year before it was Kevin Harvick (and the fan club event where I made Harvick laugh - including picture).

This year it was two. Or supposed to be two. Biffle and Vickers. See, I couldn't split my love between the two. Sadly, they split it for me because Biffle doesn't *have* a fan club. (Part and parcel of being a Roush driver, apparently.)

So, I'm supporting Vickers this year. And hey, look where the boy's at!!! The fun side of this is the fan club event which is different from many. It's at the Red Bull Energy Station at the Nationwide race at Lowe's. And Brian's coming. (He wasn't when I signed up. This means odds are, he'll either win the Nationwide race or finish last. Taking bets now.)
I'd be doing a post of actual content, except...yeah. I saw this and my brain fried.

Daily Show + Brian Vickers + Gays of Thunder )

*flails and hits things* BWAH!!!!
1. Saw The Terminator for the first time this weekend. You know, I really, really liked it. A lot. They stayed simple and didn't try to over-complicate. Also, I miss badass Arnold S. He really was an imposing figure in his prime.

2. What would you do if a 75 pound wheel came flying at you? Victory dance, that's what! Cause who doesn't have ten things they could do with that thing? Coffee table. Planter. Clock.

3. Watched the reunion show of Flavor of Love 3 last night because I was bored, and can I say...it's so wrong to feel bad for someone who goes on reality TV to find love. And yet, I wanted to punch Flav so hard for the way he treated Thing 2. She's been the first woman I've seen on a reality dating show that was actually in to the guy for HIM. She was sweet. And quite honestly, if he was going to let her down, he shouldn't have done so in front of everyone AND kissed her like that. (Also, the whole thing about keeping the family together is bull in this instance. Normally I'd be with him, but he's a little too free and easy with the ladies for him to be legit.)
maveness: (Default)
( May. 21st, 2008 02:19 pm)
Work Today

I'm not getting any work done today, and the reason can be summed up as this ). Yep. Dog came to work with me. This is what happens when the air conditioning breaks at home.

***

Horse Racing

Big Brown probably winning the Triple Crown is kind of a let down this year. For one, he's owned by a conglomerate. For another, it's just a crappy horse year. And there's the fact that the emphasis on fast over sturdy when breeding (and lineage over going outside the "accepted" gene pool). Smarty Jones was a great horse in the horse world because he wasn't the status quo.

So to pick myself up slightly (cause I'm still bummed over Eight Belles), a reminder of the two horses that encompass everything I fell in love with in regards to the Triple Crown.

Sunday Silence )

Charismatic )

Oddly enough, I just realized that my favorite horses were from 1989 and 1999. Which bodes well for next year.

***

All Star Race

My family (me, mom, dad, sister) went to the All Star Race on Saturday night. This was my parents' first race. And they have little interest in racing. *g*

So, the annoying first - chain smoking obnoxious drunks that constantly hit you in the head and kick you in the ass for the. entire. race. And a family with ADD that doesn't pay attention when you tell them "the merchandise trailers are thataway" and proceed to walk through the gates, into the track. (Which means we got to our seats at 4:00. And I didn't get to use the FanView I was loaned. Or get to go by the Team Red Bull trailer. Overall, I got screwed.)

The great was pretty much everything else.

The Showdown

1. I screamed muchly when people were introduced. My family was amused.

2. AJ winning was AWESOME. Twould have been awesomer if Brian or David Ragan had been second, but I'll take what I can get.

3. They didn't show on TV that AJ was exceedingly apologetic to Ellyut. He got loose and the car walked up the track, which, hey, the cars don't wreck as easily as they used to. But it meant he got into Ellyut, which ended Ellyut's day, and AJ felt so very bad about it. He spent a great amount of time apologizing, even more time than he spent celebrating.

4. When AJ got done with his SPEED interview, he turned around and Brian was right there to congratulate him. They did lots of manly hugging.

The Burnout Competition

1. It smelled bad. *g*

2. Jimmie's tires exploding was loud. We all jumped.

3. Kevin's tires didn't explode as loudly.

The All Star Race

1. I made my mother pay particular attention to Junior's introduction. She was very amused by the crowd reaction.

2. I also made her pay attention to Kyle Busch's introduction. She said the crowd was mean. I pointed out that Kyle pretty much asks for it. (Although I did find the crowd mean for booing Kyle's pit crew at the Pit Crew Challenge. They're not Kyle.)

3. I spotted Kasey's pit crew before he was announced as the fan vote winner, which I was able to tell the preteen girl in front of me sporting a Kasey Kahne hat, carrying a fan sign. Hey, if it couldn't have been Ellyut and wasn't Brian or David Ragan, at least the kid got her guy in.

4. DJ and that UPS truck was even more awesome in person.

5. "God Bless America" sounded worse in person, but thankfully "The Star Spangled Banner" sounded great.

6. Drums on TV - good. Drums in person - way too echoy.

7. The crowd often had no clue what was going on. So our first indication that Kyle was in trouble was when his car stayed on pit road after the mandatory 10 minute period. The cheer you heard on TV when they started pushing it back down pit road was because that's when we found out he was out. It was AWESOME.

8. My dad laughed his ass off when Junior took the lead. Mainly because the crowd went nuts.

9. My dad turned to me after the last pit stop and said "Junior's in trouble for taking that long, he won't win". If my dad, who only has a slight clue about racing, can tell that a four tire stop is bad, how come the driver and crew couldn't figure it out? I know the car was wicked loose, but damn!

10. My family got tired of me screaming "GO BIFFLE" for the last two segments. They had to deal.

11. The most incredible moment of the night came post-race, while they were dragging out the victory stage. DJ was put up on the big screen as he was getting out of his car. If you thought he was teary during the anthem, that was nothing compared to the crying he was doing after the race. I admit to getting teary-eyed myself.
maveness: (Lili - Mushroom)
( Mar. 13th, 2008 09:11 am)
Woman stabs boyfriend to death because he won't let her listen to Springsteen.

***

From yesterday's meme: [livejournal.com profile] pmgoose's question.

Who will get your vote for President of the U.S. this fall? Why? )

***

American Idol

My mother was not heartbroken that David H. is gone, mainly because she felt like he wasn't unique. Which, hey, I can see. (I still think he was way better than Kristy Lee.)

I told mom, though, that we learned one very important fact last night - Kristy Lee apparently has a bigger family than at least David H. But possibly a smaller family than Syesha. (Because that has to be the explanation for her not going home - tons of family voting. Right? Or at least the shot of Sanjaya dancing in the crowd to her song means he's rallying his two remaining fans behind her?)

***

NASCAR

Ned Jarrett is waving the flag at Sunday's race, since it's DJs last. Aw. *snore*

Also, Chrissy Wallace is driving a Truck Race at Martinsville. Yay!

And Brian Vickers will be in the top 35 in owner's points after Bristol. Even if he doesn't make the race. Yes, our boy has done THAT GOOD of all the guys outside of the top 35 that he can get in even missing a race.

***

CW Kills Our Brains Again

Oh look! The CW has greenlit a "90210" spin off (that may or may not feature original characters) to be done by Rob Thomas of Veronica Mars fame!

I'm guessing they're going to call this show "Crap On A Stick".
.

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