(no subject)

Flooding Advice

Dear people everywhere,

When there is water that you must drive through - and it doesn't matter how much or how little - please keep in mind a few things.

1. If you are dumb enough to put your ass in that situation, Darwin will laugh at you. Better pray someone is going to rescue you.

2. If you are dumber than dumb and decide to not only endanger your own life, but the life of others in the vehicle with you, I hope they kick your ass royally when you're on safe ground (should you end up on safe ground).

3. If you are the dumbest human being on the planet and decide to drive through floodwaters, thereby getting swept away, while your small child that cannot swim is in the car with you? I hope your ass gets thrown in jail for child endangerment.

Seriously, people. Why do you insist on being on the CNN highlight reel of Stupid Crap People Do?

(no subject)

Icons

One Jason Statham:



The rest are NASCAR.

( Tony Stewart, David Ragan, Martin Truex Jr., Jeff Gordon (and Ella), Greg Biffle, Matt Kenseth, Jamie McMurray, Travis Kvapil, Casey Mears, Dario Franchitti, Alan Gustafson, Zippy, Larry Carter, Tony Eury Jr., Bobby Labonte, Bootie Barker, Boris Said, Kurt Busch, Reed Sorenson )

(no subject)

Expert Movie Analysis

So, I just watched the first half of Waitress.

My expert opinion (revealing no spoilers): It's like a Joss Whedon wannabe tried their hand at this century's Steel Magnolias with a dash of Big Fish. And failed. Miserably.

1. I'm sorry, but regardless of what others have said, Andy Griffith is not the shining star of that movie. I've seen Andy do much, much better, and that's considering I hated the Andy Griffith Show and Matlock.

2. The only reason Nathan Fillion isn't horrible in this movie is because he at least knows how to deliver Joss Whedon lines. Sadly, that doesn't mean he can save the horrible dialouge.

3. The opening scene tells you everything you need to know about the movie as a whole. I should have heeded the alarm sirens then.

4. The acting sucked. From people who normally can act. They can't act here. (Except maybe the pasty waitress. And Earl.)

5. I can see the bones of what was attempted, but the movie wasn't put together with a cohesive look or sound (seriously, the music was on CRACK), the writing needed a firm hand to guide it to more of a story and less of a kitschy sound (and I say this as someone who loves Amy Sherman Palladino and Joss Whedon), if they wanted a candy/fantasy look to it it needed to go all out instead of skimming it every once in a blue moon, and they needed to get actors who knew what the hell they were doing with the material. So basically, use real southerners if you want it to be southern, give Nathan Fillion something better to work with (and make him southern because OMG, there's no way he's from CT), edit the hell out of the story and make it sound like there's a chance in hell those people would say those things.

Now to straighten up like crazy, because my laundry is trying to take over my bed. And at some point I need to do something about kickball. *sigh*