(no subject)

Dear allergies...

Would the random sneezing fits where I spew snot everywhere please STOP?

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Dear Humpy Wheeler...

I know you want to make the Coca Cola 600 the coolest race ever, but the gaudy as hell Super Bowl commemorative ring? Good lord! That thing is just fugly. And let it be noted, I don't think there's sizing on earth that would make it not look massive on WeeKasey.

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Dear Richard Petty and Mario Andretti...

I don't care how reckless you were and how much you put pedal to the metal and raced like hell. Choosing this past weekend to talk about how women don't belong in racing? Bite me. I'm almost tempted to take up racing at the ripe old age of 29 just to prove you wrong. Cause believe me, put me behind the wheel of a stock car and put Richard Petty in the pace car - I'll show you what rubbin and racin are.

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Dear body...

I would like to keep the food I eat for longer than five minutes, thanks.

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Dear landlords...

When I ask for a new apartment and strictly say that one of the reasons I want to move is because I want a balcony? That's different from a patio. Seriously. Patio = concrete slab. Balcony = railing. There will be no bitching when I make my own railing so the dog can be enclosed.

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Dear Kevin Harvick...

You make my day better by doing naughty looks and naughty poses. I know Jimmie's not the other person in the picture, but I can imagine, right?

( Kevin lookin hot )

Pranks

Smoke, you've been Harvick'd!

Yes! Of the beautiful...

Q. During Busch qualifying they showed the dash of Tony Stewart's car. It was plastered with a signed pic of a very beautiful woman. New love of his life????

A. Hardly. The autographed photo is of 15-year-old Melissa Lingafelt, Miss North Carolina Teen USA 2006. Word has it that Smoke was a victim of one of Kevin Harvick's pranks. Tony is still single.

That's what Smoke gets for grabbing Kevin's ass.