Color me confused *g*

I would just like to note that Dorks are hysterical and funny and OMG...I'm so the Confused Dork right now.

***

In other news, Tony Stewart apparently is not happy with the thought of not being a superstar in NASCAR. Cause he, Biffle and Krusty (TM bubblesbrnaid) were on the Today Show yesterday and Tony went for the gold. (Biffle looked adorable and talked about coming into his own and the pet calendar - Rusty made a Cinderella comparison that had me running for cover.)

Matt Lauer referenced their trip around the track several months back. Tony, being all jovial and rednecky (really, how is he not from the south?) told Lauer they could do a ride again, and he'd even bring Lauer fresh underwear (cause Lauer got so scared the first time...)

Katie Couric was about to die from embarrassment and Al Roker was *this* close to falling out on the floor. Lauer looked like he was trying to find a rock to crawl under or fall on the floor laughing.

The lesson for national TV and NASCAR officials: never tell Tony his personality isn't striking enough to be a superstar like Gordon or Junior. He'll go out and be all crazy. Which, yes, will have Leno wanting to book him, but will also possibly not be quite the image you want projected.

Record my butt

Man breaks record for TV watching: 69 hours +

I'll give him that 69 hours of ABC would be hell, but come on! Someone on LJ should be able to beat that one, hands down. Especially with all the breaks.

Damn it!

*cusses and kicks things*

*pouts*

Coworker is getting married. This good and happy and much plotting of embarrassment with trashy lingerie has commenced. (I am the queen of the trashy lingerie. Because really, most people aren't getting married for soup tureen. Unless it's an interestingly shaped soup tureen.)

I made the suggestion to have a company-wide shower. I actually suggested after the wedding so as to cause less stress, but apparently they decided my suggestion was my total contribution, and they're planning without me. (I'd be hurt except they make more money and can therefore afford to throw the shindig better, so more power to them.)

They scheduled the shower. For a Sunday afternoon.

October 2.

(The NASCAR fans all inhale deeply in shock. Right?)

Talladega Sunday. *weeps*

Please oh please oh please let it be 2-4.

(no subject)

To all the people who ever call anywhere and expect good service:

Do not try to hold a conversation with a perfect stranger while on speakerphone. They can't understand you. And if they can't understand you, then they aren't going to be able to help you.

Also, if I've asked you twice for your name, that's a sign that I can't understand you. (And on the same note, if I can't understand your name, then it's perfectly reasonable to expect the guy you're calling for to not pick up "the lady on line one who I can't understand".)

And lastly, when I offer you voicemail, do not try the sneaky tactic of questioning the guy's availability, since you "called earlier today when he was in a meeting" and then telling me to just let him know you called. Because I have dealt with folks doing that for six years, and I will (and did) dump your butt straight into his voicemail anyway. I'm that rude. And it's all moot if all I can tell him is "that lady I couldn't understand said call her - I'm betting she's a customer, although who is anyone's guess".

***

Speaker phone is evil. We have one client that knows how to use it correctly, and all the rest suck at it. And I swear, if one more person tells me to speak up because their speaker phone doesn't pick up my sweet southern drawl, I will hang up.

Sometimes it's nice to become Bitchy Executive Assistant From Hell.