Prepare to be dazzled.

*Mave walks in in full Marilyn Monroe getup*

*adjusts wig*

*adjusts fakes boobs*

*cough, cough*


Happy Birthday to you.
Happy Birthday to you.
Happy Birthday dear chiri_chan and rosenho.
Happy Birthday to you.

*gust of wind catches skirt, at which point Mave screams and runs from the stage*

Come on, give me your best shot.

Because I'm really, really, really bored, and I've actually answered all comments in my inbox...

How about everyone interview me! You can interview me as me. You can interview me as the characters in the TV shows I like. I'm game for anything.

Here's who you can interview:

Me (Maveness, Heather, Redneck Geek Queen)

Smallville
Me as Pete, Chloe, Clark, Lana, Jonathan, Martha, Lionel, or Lex.

Just remember that if you interview Lex me, you may not get the Lex everyone else sees. *g*

X-Men
Me as Logan, Rogue, Storm, Kitty, Jubilee, Bobby or Cyclops.

Gilmore Girls
Me as Lorelai, Paris or Emily.

I'm being realistic here folks. I love Luke but I can't channel him.


So someone ask me something. Entertain me! *pokes friends list*

My comments, ask me in my comments. Come on now, don't keep me waiting!

Question and Answer

chiri_chan's questions for my Chloe

1. What are your feelings on the direction you took in season two and what are your hopes for the upcoming one?

Well, the direction they took me in was interesting to say the least. Okay, so I accept that I'm a girl. I have my irrational moments. But what on Earth made them think I was that whiney? I mess up my makeup for no guy! Crying over a guy, even if it is Clark, is just not my style. I get mad. I kick their butts. And I move on and show them what they missed.

I also don't like the part where I hardly ever see Pete anymore. But I do see a lot of Lana. *sigh* Why couldn't they have had Pete move in with me, and Lana could have taken his old room. Much more compatible than the current arrangement.

I do have to say that getting to delve into Lionel Luthor's organization is exciting, if a bit terrifying. My little journalistic heart is racing!

As far as next season, can I just ask for a few things? Someone keep an eye on the wardrobe lady. She has issues. Let me be me this season. I'm a snooper. I'm curious. For once, let me be the one in the know.

2. Also, what pay-back (if any) should Lana/Clark look out for?

Payback's a bitch. And sometimes I am too. What they did hurt. A lot. Not the fact that they're dating, although that does feel a bit like betrayal, but the fact that they kept telling me, over and over, that they were just friends, yet they ended up together. It was like one, long, drawn out lie. The little things just added up and it all came to a boil.

As far as payback goes, I'm better than that. They did me wrong, and that's their problem. They have to deal. I'm going to make my own life, do the things that make *me* happy. If that means they've lost a friend, that's their choice. They could have been open and honest a lot longer.

h2ogirl's questions for me.

1. What is your secret desire?

I want to be kick ass. And Asian. I have this secret desire to be tough and fit, and to be able to kick any man's ass that threatened me. I have actively looked for a gym with boxing instructors, but my area doesn't have them. It's a much more achievable goal than suddenly turning myself Asian.

2. What amuses you?

Weird things. Playing with telemarketers is good for a chuckle. Watching Gilmore Girls amuses me. Playing with the dog and his chewed up sock. Tormenting squirrels. Watching NASCAR drivers I dislike screw up. Gooching my dad. Telling my mother she looks like her cat. Eyeshadow.

3. What annoys you?

Telemarketers. Seriously. I. Can't. Stand. Them. I also am annoyed by people who drive faster/slower than me. Dammit, drive my speed, because I am the ruler of the roads. And if you want to drive slower, get out of my lane.

4. What is your favorite color?

Red. Crimson and deep and vivid and sexy red.

5. Do you believe in life after death?

Yes. Absolutely. There's heaven and there's hell.

6. Have you seen "Queer Eye" yet?

I've managed to catch the first condensed version that was on NBC. Sadly, I do not have cable, which keeps me from watching it. *sigh* It was so damn funny.


rosenho's questions for the entire list.

Can I ask absolutely everybody on your list "Coke or Pepsi?"
Maveness: I can drink either one. Pepsi is a NC drink, so the automatic desire is to say Pepsi, but I drink Coke more often because it's more available at work. Plus the caffeine is necessary to survival, so I'll take it any way I can get it. Mmmmm. Caffeine. Blessed, blessed drug. Wait, what was the question?

Pete: Pepsi. It's just...cooler than Coke.

Chloe: Coke. I don't respect an organization that puts Britney Spears in their commercials.

Clark: Coke. It's all American. Plus I look good in red. *g*

Lana: Definitely Pepsi, because it's sweeter. Plus their commercials are great. Isn't Britney Spears just the neatest?

Jonathan: Coke. No doubt about it. I remember this one time when I was a kid, I went to the store with my mother. I was thirsty, but we were poor back then. I begged and begged for money for a Coke. And she gave it to me. Looking back now, I realize how much the money for that Coke meant to the family. We could have used the money for something else. After all, a penny saved is a penny earned.

Martha: Coke. It's easier than listening to Jonathan ramble on about pennies and his mother.

Lionel: I don't drink that filth.

Lex: Why isn't TyNant a choice?

Logan: Who the fuck cares? Just drink something already. Now where's my beer?

Rogue: Pepsi. I'm from the South honey. We stick to our roots.

Storm: Neither. Caffeine and sugar are not normal components of my diet. I'm afraid of how excitable it might make me. There's no telling what weather patterns may develop.

Kitty: *dead pans* Neither. They just go right through me.

Jubilee: Dude. Caffeine is all good. I prefer Pepsi, cause it's sweeter, but a girl can't be choosey.

Bobby: *shrugs* If it's not Dr. Pepper, what's the point?

Cyclops: Coke. You know I have a thing for red.

Lorelai: It has sugar. It has caffeine. Why must you force me to choose? The only thing *not* perfect about either one is that they're not coffee. No coffee taste. No warm coffee punch first thing in the morning. But you know, there's caffeine and sugar. How can this be wrong?

Paris : Coke vs. Pepsi? This is a cliche argument with no real answer. It's merely a ploy cooked up by the corporate machine to spur sales in lieu of real advertising...*interviewer runs off in terror before she can get any further*

Emily: There's a difference? I thought soda was just that, soda. Teeth-rotting, unhealthy...

dragonsinger's questions for Bobby.

1) It's been a few months since you got your room to yourself. How are you holding up?

It's...different. It's finally at a temperature that I like. Nice and cool, all day long. No walking into a sauna. But...okay, I'll admit it. I miss John. It was cool having a buddy rooming with me. I feel kind of alone now without him.

2) How do you keep your ice powers in shape?

Working out. Pumping some iron. *flexes muscles*

Well, okay, I also get a workout by freezing the pipes in the girls' locker room. *g* Seeing all those wet girls in their little towels more than makes up for the beat down I get from Jubilee later.

3) What does the future hold for you and Rogue?

You tell me. First she's into me, getting close and spending so much time with me, then she's pulling away. She's just so hard to get close to. And having Logan around doesn't help. *sigh* Sometimes I feel kind of inadequate next to him. Rogue swears she's over her crush on him, but I don't know. Plus her mutation sucks. Literally.

They're picking on Tom.

I'm starting to get a uniform question from a few coworkers.

"Is that they guy from Smallville?" Referring to Tom's picture on my computer desktop.

Okay, so, saying that with a snicker in your voice doesn't work folks. Wanna know why? Because you knew the name of the show. That means you have watched at least an episode. Or more, considering you recognize who it is on sight. And if you have a kid that's 4, I'm seriously not thinking it's her that's watching it.

Busted folks. So. Totally. Busted.

***

I keep getting told my hair looks good. I am happy. Screw the hair dryer! Or, you know, not, because that could be painful.

***

batmite's question for Pete, Clark, Chloe.

Season 2--there was noticeably less time involving the three of you together as friends than there was in S1. With S3 coming, what do you think lies in store for your friendship?

Girl, talk about deep.

Clark: We have a rock solid friendship. No matter what, we stick together. That's not to say we haven't had our rough patches. We have. It's just the way friendships go: not everything can be perfect all the time. Then there are times where two of us will get closer. That can make the third feel left out. It's not meant maliciously, it's just the way things happen sometimes. The natural evolution of a friendship.

Chloe: *staring in disbelief* Okay, what orifice of your body did you pull that out of?

Pete: *jumping in* What Clark *means* to say is that we were tight in season one. Season two, that tightness evolved. It changed. Couldn't be helped. We all had things to be doing. Scooby time was cut way back. Plus teenage hormones got way out of whack. Things were said, then taken back, then reworded, then twisted. Feelings got hurt. We had to deal.

Chloe: You mean I had to deal. My feelings got hurt. I twisted words.

Pete: Chloe, are you missing the fact that there are three of us in this friendship?

Chloe: Oh, I'm not missing anything, especially the fact that for a good portion of this season it's been you two against the world.

Clark: What? Wait, we're going from the standard mantra of "Lana, Lana, Lana" to now it's me and Pete against you? Can't you just make up your mind?

Chloe: Hey, the girl was *asking* about the three of us. I'm not blind or stupid Clark. It's one thing when it's about you and a girl. Whatever my feelings, you and Lana is a romantic thing, not a friendship thing. On the friendship front, regarding the three of us, you and Pete, for whatever reason, have excluded me this year. I don't know why, because lord knows it's not like either of you tell me anything lately, but you have excluded me. Sorry if I'm a girl here, but that hurts.

Clark: Maybe you missed it, but I addressed that already.

Chloe: No, what you addressed was a rock solid friendship of three, regardless of the third wheel syndrome. I see a rock solid friendship of *two*, with me being the cast off. It was like suddenly the two of you didn't *need* me anymore.

Pete: Welcome to my world.

Chloe: What?

Pete: You're the researcher, the journalist, the truth-seeker. Clark's the hero. Me, I'm the trusty sidekick. Don't you think it was kind of nice for me to do sidekicky things for once? I got to be part, instead of standing on the sidelines, cheering. Everyone gets a sideline time Chloe. It's not just you. And eventually it'll be Clark's turn.

Chloe: So, you think that maybe that's what season three will be? Clark's turn to be on the sidelines while the two of us are tighter than before?

Pete: Hey, he's the one that left town. Of course the two of us will bond over the summer. I have you and you have me. Gotta keep that friendship rock solid, you know what I mean? Let him stew a while.

Clark: Hey!

Chloe and Pete: Shut up Clark.

Part 2

chiri_chan's follow up to batmite's question.

So if S1 was Chloe & Clark, *ticks off a finger* and S2 was Clark &
Pete, *ticks off another finger* and S3 has to be Pete & Chloe.... *twiddles thumbs* Does that mean that S4 is all about the hot Chlark action again? And, how would Pete feel about it if it was? And what would it take for it to happen?

Clark: Well, um...

Pete: Wrong math hon. It's going to be all about the threesome. Chlarkete.

Chloe: *snicker* Um, Pete, that sounded vaguely dirty.

Clark: *looking green around the gills* Yeah, and uh, Pete? You're my bro and all...

Chloe: Lord, he said bro.

Clark: ...but Pete, I'm straight.

*dead silence*

*crickets chirp*

Pete: You're what?

Clark: I'm straight. I definitely thought you knew that.

Chloe: Clark, even *Lana* is working under the assumption that she'd have to share you. You're not straight. You're...bi.

Clark: I'm not *bi.* I'm straight. I like girls.

Pete: Clark, you're not straight man. You're bi. Believe me.

Clark: I'm not believing you. You're just hot for my bod.

Chloe: *snickering*

Pete: Okay, first off, any threesome action between the three of us would be me and Chloe or you and Chloe. I am *all* man, and don't you forget it. Second, nobody ever said you were my boytoy. I don't play with other people's toys like that.

Chloe: Hey, you were willing to play with *me* like that.

Pete: But you're special. It would take two to satisfy you.

Chloe: Okay, I'll give you that one.

Clark: Wait, I'm someone's toy? Since when?

*Chloe and Pete stare at each other in shock*

Pete: My god, he's dumber than dirt.

Chloe: Clark? Sweetie? Did you not *realize* that you have "Property of Lex Luthor" permanently stamped on your ass?

Clark: *blushes* I do not!

Pete: You so do. You're chrome dome's bitch. The entire town knows it. Your dad's *cows* know it.

Clark: *moaning* I think I want to die now.

Chloe: *pats Clark on head* Poor delusional boy. He really had no clue. He's big and he's dumb.

Pete: *cough* Andhe'sanalien. *cough*

Chloe: What?

Pete: Nothing.

Clark: *sobs quietly* How did I not know?