maveness: (Default)
( Aug. 10th, 2009 08:58 pm)
1. The place I worked for ten years laid off two people today.

2. I put way too much Crown in my Bull Blasters that I'm having. I'm halfway through and having trouble focusing.

3. I resisted the allure of Big Bang Theory as long as I could. Summer reruns have drawn me in.

4. Job front: Interview today. Word today that I passed the second test on another job and will receive a call from the department in two weeks. I kind of just want a job now.

5. I'll be starting reading Harry Potter any day.

6. Seriously. Too much Crown.

7. Am bummed that Marcos Ambrose didn't win today. This season is a bummer because none of my guys are winning. When you root for 2/3 of the field, this is highly problematic. (OMG, so hard to spell that last word.)

8. Haven't done any painting since I realized that it wasn't going how I wanted to. Need to just paint over the canvas and start over.

9. Have decided that when I do get a job, I shall celebrate in two ways - by going out to Sushi Republic (mmmm, sushi that is awesome) and by getting laid. Really, these are admirable goals.

10. I need a Hot Wheels track so I can race Kenseth against Junior all the time. Rookie class of 2000 for the win!
maveness: (Default)
( Feb. 17th, 2009 09:45 am)
CSI: Miami

I don't watch CSI: Miami. I think before last night I'd seen portions of episodes (scenes that didn't feature David Caruso), maybe a handful of times.

OMG, people. I sat and watched last night's ep because I was staying up for the Late Show and hilarity!!!! Seriously! Someone please explain to me how Caruso has a job, because that was hysterical!

Things I learned:

1. Horatio does not touch things.
2. Horatio stands with his hands on his hips at all times.
3. Horatio talks as if Shatner and an alien had a love child.
4. Horatio has amazing dramatic glasses removing skills.

I'll never watch that stuff again, but man, laughed so hard.

***

Kenseth on TV

Late Show with David Letterman: This was awesome use of Kenseth. He talked fifty million miles an hour and said good stuff and even got to snark on Junior without snarking on Junior. *g* Also, it was obvious that Dave's a racing man and had someone prepare information for him. As opposed to...

Regis and Kelly: Okay, so every year they have the Daytona 500 winner and the Chasers and the Champion on their show. Then why the hell does Regis never know anything about racing? "Congrats on winning the Daytona." For real? Matt was trying for cute, but when the interviewers don't care, what's the point?

ETA: Katie and Matt are expecting!
maveness: (McShortenstuff)
( Feb. 15th, 2009 07:30 pm)
2009 Daytona 500

Bonehead move of the race: Dale Earnhardt Jr.

I'm trying to decide if it's just Carl Edwards at Talledega during the Chase level of bonehead or a special level above that. Here's the reasons why. It was finally figured out in post race interviews that Junior didn't realize Vickers was racing him for position. That's the only saving grace Junior gets. If you're not racing a guy for position, you wouldn't expect them to block you like that. The thing is, it's still WAY too aggressive of a move. (Carl did a bonehead move by failing at basic racing technique to other Chasers during the Chase. But which is worse? I'm still up in the air.)

The great thing is, no one can ever ever EVER bring up that Talladega race again. Ever.

***

Psychic revelation of the race: Elliott Sadler

For predicting that he totally wouldn't win. I think that actually qualifies as a last lap pass for the win, doesn't it? I wouldn't want to be trying to interview Elliott tonight. I know he finished fifth, but that's going to be a whole lotta bitter man.

***

Who saw that coming event of the race: Matt Kenseth

Raise your hand if you saw that one coming. Now raise your hand if you thought the robot would leak motor oil all over pit road. (OMG, the crying into Katie's shoulder was SO CUTE. Yes. I want to cuddle a Kenseth.) Now the only thing he has to contend with is going to NYC and doing interviews. For Kenseth, he just won the biggest race of his life and now will be subjected to hell.

***

Interview that is going to make everyone love or hate a driver: Brian Vickers

Dude had every right to be pissed. And it'll only be slightly less angry-making when he finds out that Junior didn't wreck him intentionally but didn't know he was on the same lap as Junior.

***

Commercials made of win: Toyota, that zoomy monstery Sprint commercial, Lowe's, probably something I'm forgetting

Toyota: Vickers screaming and hiding from the scary robot! Mikey battling it with pipes! Hamlin's shirt being ripped off (while thankfully he had an undershirt on)! Reutimann! No Logano!

Zoomy Sprint Commercial: Dude, Carl Edwards as the Yellow Eyed Demon. Nuff said.

Lowe's: Chad says "Jimmie, what are you doing down there?" I say "TOTALLY SLASHY."

ETA: Every commercial with Bobby Labonte and his ass OMG!!!!! [livejournal.com profile] comeawayeasy, I swear, we were already excited he had commercials. And then they focused on his ass and there was squealing and thinking of you. And THEN she GRABBED HIS ASS and I died!!!!
maveness: (Salute)
( Feb. 7th, 2009 10:57 pm)
NASCAR Items of Note

1. Dear DW or whoever: thanks for giving me all the porn tonight. Especially fun was Squirting Harvick. Don't know how you managed that one, but damn.

2. Jamie!

3. Wreck number one taking out all the rookies and Robby Gordon is kind of funny.

4. Sadly, no reports that Tony ended up in the 20 pit while on the radio asking Zippy why he's being so quiet.

5. I missed NASCAR. I missed the nonsensical ramblings of the crew. I missed the sound of the cars. I missed "Boogity boogity boogity". It's downright giddymaking to have it all back.

6. Proving I might be weirder than Scott Speed, when Kenseth, Edwards and McMurray were all in line (second through fourth), I said something about the Three Muskateers, Bubbles said something about "who's the defrocked priest" and it was on. For the record, if you're going to take the Roushkateers and turn them into muskateers, Jamie is quite obviously D'Artagnan (come on, he screams Chris O'Donnell) and if anyone's a defrocked priest, it's Edwards. Still haven't figured out if Kenseth is Keifer Sutherland or Oliver Platt, though.

7. There are no excuses for commercials that talk about Kasey Kahne dominating.
maveness: (Default)
( Sep. 7th, 2008 12:21 pm)
NASCAR Randomness

Why the hell was Kenseth kicking someone off the stage? And who was he kicking off?

Severely cute is Hermie trying to say "ninth".

Kyle B decided not to shave again. At least it's not the "pubic hair on my chin" look.

ETA: Things that are annoying? When you realize, even though it was planned ahead that the race would take place today, there's no prerace coverage. But they don't *tell* us this. I finally figure it out with about 10 minutes to go on SPEED when the anthem was sung.
maveness: (NASCAR - Embrace the Bicep)
( Aug. 23rd, 2008 11:56 pm)
Dear Carl Edwards

WE LOVE YOU JUST THAT MUCH.

I don't like Carl. I'm very suspicious of him (plus there's that time he blamed Hermie for having no brakes). But not liking him doesn't change the fact that I really, really am having issues with Kyle Busch's entitlement issues. Because a "bump and run" hasn't ever ever been employed as a legitimate racing maneuver ever. And hasn't been used this year. By Kyle Busch. Uh huh.

So Kyle, when you pick a fight with someone bigger and badder for doing something you've already done, you best be able to finish it. And you couldn't. Wuss.

Hee.

(Carl has a temper when provoked. He's just very PR perfect. The kind of guy that has a burst of temper, reigns it in and then acts all "gee shucks" and polite. The Kenseth thing blew his cover wide open last year, but it doesn't mean that I don't celebrate when it's justified. Cause that was justified as hell. Hell, the funny parts of Days of Thunder! In real life!)
maveness: (NASCAR - Ellyut/Jamie)
( Nov. 5th, 2007 11:17 am)
Because the day isn't going so fabulously. Which means the need to post a pic that [livejournal.com profile] lissachicka found and which just makes my day better and better every time I look at it.

NASCAR Drivers Do Halloween )

The fact that Kenseth is Bill Clinton is amusing (although I would have loved to see Katie in a picture with him).

Kurt Busch as the Big Bad Wolf in Grandma's clothing is cute.

Biffle as Nacho Libre scares the bejesus out of me (suddenly he's not hot at ALL).

But I can't get past Jamie McMurray in a skirt. Okay, so gladiator clothing doesn't necessarily constitute skirt, but still. Which leads to the poll of the day:

[Poll #1083236]
maveness: (NASCAR - Team Red Bull)
( Oct. 22nd, 2007 10:10 am)
Team Red Bull

I think it's official. Team Red Bull hires the most awesomely hysterical people. (And the most squishable. Brian isn't so much hilarious as "OMG cute and brainy and freckly".)

Scott Speed and another F1 development driver singing "Milk and Cereal"

They're just lip syncing to the song, but still. How awesomely hilarious!

(Wait, Scott is the one in the glasses? Really? Hello nurse! That hits one of my kinks. I think that team hits every one except one!)

***

Edwards v. Kenseth: The Fight

Anybody else watch this and want to protect Kenseth?

Cause we all know Carl mad isn't a good thing, but damn!
maveness: (Default)
( Sep. 13th, 2007 02:04 pm)
NASCAR on Letterman: The Top 12

12. Clint Bowyer: "We've got special mirrors that show objects the size that they actually are."
11. Kevin Harvick: "Sometimes back in the garages there's horseplay with the airhose."
10. Jeff Burton: "Between the G-forces and the fumes, I'm loopy most of the season."
9. Kyle Busch: "Switch the 'R' and the 'C' in 'Racing' and you get 'Caring.'"
8. Matt Kenseth: "Can hold 8 gigs of music on my new iHelmet."
7. Martin Truex, Jr.: "In a pinch, checkered flags make a lovely tablecloth."
6. Denny Hamlin: "Two more wins and I get to marry Ashley Judd."
5. Kurt Busch: "You can talk to your car and pretend you're David Hasselhoff."
4. Carl Edwards: "How many people can say their "office" goes 200 miles per hour."
3. Tony Stewart: "Driving fast and starting fights."
2. Jeff Gordon: "It's not one of those sports you have to inject stuff in your ass to be good."
1. Jimmie Johnson: "Unlike most guys, I like it when my wife says, 'You're too fast.'"


You know, number 1 and number 9 are repeats from last year. I'm guessing either Letterman ran out of creativity or he wasn't told about the 12 early enough and just went with what worked.

I quite loved Kevin's line, especially with the evil smirk; Truex's for the fact he got called Martha Stewart; Denny's for the fact that it's extremely timely; Kurt's for the fact that he mentions Knight Rider (in a round about way); and Gordon's for the fact that this is why our sport owns stick and ball sports at times.

***

Interview with Kenseth in USA Today

I really wish YouTube had been around at the time, because I never got to see the fashion show with NASCAR drivers. Just the idea of Kenseth in a beanie is hysterical.
Action at the Glen

What things did I love about that race?

1. Fans that are drunk enough to jump the fence to try and get Kenseth's autograph during a red flag, but not drunk enough to try and get Tony Stewart's autograph. ("I told him I was kind of busy right now.")

2. The inevitable Harvick/Montoya fight. I loved when Montoya said "Harvick pushed me first", because note that both of them kept their helmets on. *g* (Hey, I love a good fight, especially one like that. It's cute!)

2.a. Montoya's firesuit, which was ill-fitting and about a foot too low in the ass. That's the problem with sending out your suits to the dry cleaners. Sometimes they come back messed up.

2.b. The fact that every time Harvick gets out of a car, his firesuit belt is undone. Why is that?

3. All the cars taking trips through the kitty litter.

3.a. The fact that the front splitter acts like a litter scoop.

4. Even Gordon and Stewart got bit by turn one.

5. People driving hell bent for leather around those turns and mowing the grass.

6. Hard passing that was successful without tearing one another up.
maveness: (NASCAR - Boris)
( Jul. 7th, 2007 09:40 pm)
[livejournal.com profile] bubblesbrnaid is on the couch and can't stop giggling. Why?

Because the announcers are slashing Kenseth and Robbie Reiser. To the point of talking about them setting the dinner table together.

Also? Blaney is a cat toy now?

(Icon in honor of the fro'ed wonder, who would have had the pole had he been in the race.)
maveness: (NASCAR - Jamie)
( Jan. 12th, 2007 01:11 pm)
NASCAR

The declaration is being made now: Jamie McMurray is evil. The last hope civilization has lies in the hands of Jack Roush. He MUST keep Jamie and Kenseth separate as much as possible.

*nods*

Fanfest - Daytona, Tuesday Night

Host asks Biffle about if there will be any more Subway commercials.

Biffle: I hate to tell the fans, but there won't be any Subway commercials.

Fans: Awwwww

Biffle: But we did make one for Oreo...

Jamie (butting in): Did you have to use your tongue?

Fans: *laugh*

Jamie: Did you have to lick it?

Biffle: Yeah

Fans: *laugh more*

Jamie: Are you a good licker?

Biffle: Yeah

Fans: *laughing asses off*

Jamie: I didn't meant to make it sound dirty. The fans took it that way.

***

Announcer asks drivers what they'd be doing if they'd never driven for NASCAR.

Bobby Labonte: I'd like to be in demolition, because I like to blow things up. I like to destroy things. Who gives a crap about things being made beautiful, I want to blow 'em up.
maveness: (NASCAR - JM - Oral)
( Sep. 22nd, 2006 12:59 pm)
NASCAR Picspam

Yet another, in another attempt to get images off my computer. Dang I have a lot!

Miscellaneous pictures that amuse me )
maveness: (Thora - Barbed)
( Sep. 15th, 2006 09:01 am)
NASCAR Pie Fight

World Record Attempt

EvilKenseth is going to be in the Guiness Book of World Records. That is AWESOME. What cracks me up is, the world record for thrown pies hitting someone (was it in the face?) in a minute was 15. Kyle Busch got nowhere NEAR the record (he managed 5 - but he had Regis). Jimmie got 14. Kevin got 15. Denny got 16. EvilKenseth got 17. Go EvilKenseth! (It's easy when you're aiming at Kelly, though.)
maveness: (Stargate - Plane Go Vroom)
( Sep. 14th, 2006 01:34 pm)
NASCAR

That Top Ten from last night? Could the guys have dressed any more alike? Junior and Kasey both had the black blazer/button down shirt going on (with stripes on the shirt - I think Junior's was a blue base and Kasey's had a white base). Denny, Kevin and Jimmie were all going for the black blazer/white button down shirt (with Jimmie being the only one without an undershirt). The fact that Jimmie and Kevin were standing side by side made it REALLY obvious.

And I may have gotten too much pleasure out of all of that.

*g*

Plus Jimmie's little eyebrow lift at the end of his portion.

Plus Junior laughing his ass off the entire time.

Plus Denny being frickin nervous until he was done.

Plus Jeff Burton's line reading.

Plus Mark Martin's line reading.

Plus everything about Kenseth.

***

Project Runway

Let it be known, I am dressed strangely like Laura today. *is suspicious* Down to having PMS with water retention so bad that I look like I'm three months pregnant.

(Black turtle neck - for it was cold this morning. Black satin skirt with silver embroidery at the bottom. Black Mary Jane heels.)

***

Hair

I'm feeling the need to do drastic things to my hair. Like a haircut. And color. Drastic on both. *ponders*
maveness: (NASCAR - Inside Joke Ellyut)
( Sep. 14th, 2006 08:36 am)
NASCAR Top Ten on Letterman?

(Click on Big Show Highlight)

Um, to quote the overriding sentiment...

MATTHEW KENSETH!

*giggles*

(Jeff Gordon got the worst one. And half the fun of this is watching Junior giggling like a fool in the background.)
.

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